Hurt? You Are Chosen and Precious

Yesterday, a young lady came to me crying and told me that she ended the relationship because the other person was not reciprocating the love that she gave.  There was no exchange of mutual respect and love.  It seems like it was a one-way relationship as she relates some examples.  It’s really hard to get a good picture of the event but all I can do was empathize [I’m not judging].  I deployed my knowledge and skills on empathy [view empathy lesson]  immediately and for good 30 minutes or so gave my  2cents “cheap counsel” with less words and just more of a back rub, silence and prayer.

I gave her the “nice girl syndrome” NGS test and fortunately she does not have it. 

Nice Girl/Guy Syndrome
10 False Beliefs
1. Other people’s feelings and needs are far more important than my own.
2. If I am nice (and fair) to other people, they will be nice (and fair) to me.
3. What other people think about me is more important than my self-esteem, my health, or even my safety.
4. If I am good and perfect, I will be accepted and loved.
5. If I act naive and innocent, people will take care of me and I won’t have to grow up.
6. I don’t have the right to stand up for myself or act on my own behalf.
7. Anger is a destructive emotion and shouldn’t be expressed, especially directly to those with whom you are angry.
8. It is better to avoid conflict at all costs.
9. There is good in everyone, and if you give someone enough chances, he or she will eventually show it to you.
10.Women need men to protect them and support them financially.

But I forgot to mention something to her last night which is the “true counsel”.  

The best counsel not just for her but to anyone and everyone. Psychology can only touch our emotions, spiritual counsel does more than touch our heart.  It touches our spirit.

Pain and hurts in our daily life is not an “end” but a “beginning”. Go with grieving.  Cry to the deepest but then know that you were chosen.

A Living Stone and a Holy People
1 So put away all malice and all deceit and hypocrisy and envy and all slander.
2 Like newborn infants, long for the pure spiritual milk, that by it you may grow up into salvation—
3 if indeed you have tasted that the Lord is good.
4 As you come to him, a living stone rejected by men but in the sight of God chosen and precious,
5 you yourselves like living stones are being built up as a spiritual house, to be a holy priesthood, to offer spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.
6 For it stands in Scripture:  “Behold, I am laying in Zion a stone, a cornerstone chosen and precious, and whoever believes in him will not be put to shame.”
7 So the honor is for you who believe, but for those who do not believe,  “The stone that the builders rejected has become the cornerstone,”
8 and  “A stone of stumbling,  and a rock of offense.” They stumble because they disobey the word, as they were destined to do.
9 But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.
10 Once you were not a people, but now you are God’s people; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.
11 Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul.
12 Keep your conduct among the Gentiles honorable, so that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day of visitation. https://www.bible.com/bible/59/1pe.2