Road Not Taken… But you did.

The Road Not Taken
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
—-Robert Frost—-

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My Dear Britta:

Since July when we’ve known of Papa’s illness, I’ve been educating myself about GRIEF. I’m not an expert but I know just enough to understand the process of GRIEF. What you will be experiencing soon is the thing called GRIEF and I want to expose that word as much as I could so that once identified, we can classify your feelings and actions that is related to GRIEF and the repair work is much easier to handle. The objective is for you to go through the lengthy process as slow and efficient as possible. When you are done, you will feel like you’ve climbed Mt. Everest or conquered a 100 miles bike ride.

I could not cry anymore…. I wanted to but I just don’t. But I felt it deep inside me GRIEF which I don’t really understand why, I’m not that close to Papa yet his circumstance affects me as it affected you. Papa’s illness somehow triggers old memories regarding my own experience in 1983 and for some reason I felt grief with you in your situation. I guess… somehow we are connected to each other mentally, emotionally and psychologically [obviously].

The reason why I am writing is because I want to paint a picture of you making the right decision at the right moment. I somehow felt that you are confused, bothered, double minded, doubting – if you’ve made the right choices at the specific moment in time. I would say you made the right choice and please don’t look back.

These are the doubts that you’ve conveyed to me that signifies that you were unsure whether you’ve made the right choice.

1. Not taking home Papa and let him recover in Round Rock, it could have been a different outcome.
   
2. If we did DNR, we will not be in this predicament.
   
3. I’m in between my job and my father. If I decide to stay with Papa, I will lose my job in Round Rock.
   
4. And many more…
   

First of all, I want to tell you honestly that all the decisions you’ve made were appropriate to every circumstance. Don’t doubt your instincts, it’s there for a reason. Doubting does not serve a purpose, the outcome of the decision that you’ve made were irrevocable and cannot be undone and has no more value that will help your current situation.

Before I go, I want you to shift your focus to Mama. Ensure that her emotional, mental and physical well-being is healthy. The way you describe me her actions are signs that she is already overwhelmed by all the new things that are coming her way – just like you. But remember, you have Rigel that constantly giving you positive things to look forward and putting thing is the right perspective. You need to do the same to Mama. You are her “GRIEF therapist”. She needs encouragement, she needs reassurance, and she needs “future thinking”. I know that she is strong but it is always nice to have someone you can depend on – that’s you [it showed]. Cherish the moment that you are with her. Yes, Papa needs attention but so does Mama. Losing a spouse for so many years is not a simple matter. Even if you see her so strong emotionally and faithfully, don’t assume that she is ok. Grief is a very complicated process that you have to go through – I repeat, you have to go through GRIEF. How do you avoid grief? You don’t… you go through it and it will vanish.

1. Ensure you have a company or a trusted friend to talk to [you are not alone]
   
2. Remembering good old memories
   
3. A little look to the future [but not much]
   
4. Watch for odd behavior but just observe, don’t try to heal or fix a problem
   
5. Give her a reason to go on.
   
6. Help other people experiencing hardship. Helping Mama will heal you also.
   

Lastly, back home is all in the right order of things. Financially we are ok. The kids are doing just fine. Please shift your focus in your current situation. Think of us in terms of giving yourself a “reward” after all these “hardship matters” end – you will be back here in Round Rock and living a good life. Yes, we are waiting for you but we also understand your situation. Focus on Papa and Mama for now. Nothing has changed her since you left. Yeah, you might lose your Lone Star job but as per our history, a shift of circumstance always prove to be a greener pasture.

Today, I came across a poem called “The Road Not Taken”. Read the poem 3x focusing more on the last verse.

“You made a difference for Papa and Mama.” and that’s all it matters.

Always,
ra