Positive Pairing: 8 Ingredients (Pp) Mathematical Formula

I still think that my time in this world is very short because of my stent #2.  For the past 3 years now, I had been building my core team at home [my family] from scratch.  It has been fun to watch each member of the family grows as a person.  Today, I found one word which define what I’m currently doing – “autonomous training”, see ingredient #1 below.

autonomy-the capacity of a system to make its own decisions about its actions; Personal independence

Positive Pairing Mathematical Formula:
Pp=( 1 ) (  2 )  ( 3 ) ( 4 ) ( 5 ) ( 6 )  ( 8) ( 7 ) ( 8 )

Pp=0, you are not positively paired with your spouse, partner, friend, team, small group [don’t hit the delete button yet, instead, work on restoring the missing ingredient.]

Pp=>1, you are good to go, you will last a lifetime

Let:
Pp-positive pairing
1-ingredient #1
2-ingredient #2
3-ingredient #3
4-ingredient #4
5-ingredient #5
6-ingredient #6
7-ingredient #7
8-ingredient #8

 

 

"Positive Pairing" Ingredients By Satir 1988
1. Each person stands firmly on his or her own feet and is autonomous.
2. Each person can be counted on to say real "yes’s" and "no’s" — in other words, to be emotionally honest.
3. Each person can ask for what she or he wants.
4. Each acknowledges and takes responsibility for her or his actions.
5. Each can keep promises.
6. Each can be counted on to be kind, fun to be around, courteous, considerate, and real.
7. Each takes full freedom to choose to comment on what is going on.
8. Each supports the other’s dreams in whatever way possible. Together, they cooperate instead of competing.

"The single most crucial factor in love relationships is the feeling of worth each person has for self"

“ positive pairing” – the capacity of each member of the relationship to "stand on their own two feet," being
responsible for self

When a marital relationship is based on a survival pact, where each partner attempts to borrow a sense of self from the mate, difficulties are inevitable. In such a case, Satir illustrated the marital dialogue in this manner: "If I run out of supplies I will take from you. You will have enough, in an emergency, to serve us both" (1967, p. 9). Autonomy is not feasible within such a dysfunctional pact because it threatens the homeostasis of the marital bond. Since the spouses believe that their very survival is dependent on their partner, individuation is seriously hampered.