NOTES: Caretaker or Caregiver

http://www.expressivecounseling.com/codependency-caretaking/
By Elizabeth Kupferman

Caretaker
1. Caretaking feels stressful, exhausting and frustrating.
2. Caretaking crosses boundaries. [types of boundaries]
3. Caretaking takes from the recipient or gives with strings attached
4. Caretakers don’t practice self-care because they mistakenly believe it is a selfish act.
5. Caretakers worry
6. Caretakers think they know what’s best for others
7. Caretakers don’t trust others’ abilities to care for themselves
8. Caretaking creates anxiety and/or depression in the caretaker
9. Caretakers tend to attract needy people.
10. Caretakers tend to be judgmental
11. Caretakers start fixing when a problem arises for someone else
12. Caretakers tend to be dramatic in their caretaking and focus on the problem;
13. Caretakers us the word “You” a lot

Caregiver
1. Caregiving feels right and feels like love. It re-energizes and inspires you.
2. Caregiving honors boundaries.
3. Caregiving gives freely.
4. Caregivers practice self-care unabashedly because they know that keeping themselves happy enables them to be of service to others.
5. Caregivers take action and solve problems.
6. Caregivers only know what’s best for themselves.
7. Caregivers trust others enough to allow them to activate their own inner guidance and problem
8. Caregiving decreases anxiety and/or depression in the caregiver
9. Caregivers tend to attract healthy people.
10. Caregivers don’t see the logic in judging others and practice a “live and let live attitude.”
11. Caregivers empathize fully, letting the other person know they are not alone and lovingly asks, [one who showed mercy]
12. Caregivers can create dramatic results by focusing on the solutions.
13. Caregivers say “I” more.

 

Caretaker	Caregiver
1. Caretaking feels stressful, exhausting and frustrating.	1. Caregiving feels right and feels like love.  It re-energizes and inspires you.
2. Caretaking crosses boundaries.	2. Caregiving honors boundaries.
3. Caretaking takes from the recipient or gives with strings attached	3. Caregiving gives freely.
4. Caretakers don’t practice self-care because they mistakenly believe it is a selfish act.	4. Caregivers practice self-care unabashedly because they know that keeping themselves happy enables them to be of service to others.
5. Caretakers worry	5. Caregivers take action and solve problems.
6. Caretakers think they know what’s best for others	6. Caregivers only know what’s best for themselves.
7. Caretakers don’t trust others’ abilities to care for themselves	7. Caregivers trust others enough to allow them to activate their own inner guidance and problem
8. Caretaking creates anxiety and/or depression in the caretaker	8. Caregiving decreases anxiety and/or depression in the caregiver
9. Caretakers tend to attract needy people.	9. Caregivers tend to attract healthy people.
10. Caretakers tend to be judgmental	10. Caregivers don’t see the logic in judging others and practice a “live and let live attitude.”
11. Caretakers start fixing when a problem arises for someone else	11. Caregivers empathize fully, letting the other person know they are not alone and lovingly asks,
12. Caretakers tend to be dramatic in their caretaking and focus on the problem;	12. Caregivers can create dramatic results by focusing on the solutions.
13. Caretakers us the word “You” a lot	13. Caregivers say “I” more.