MindMap-BookSummary-DepressionOfGrief

MindMap-BookSummary-DepressionOfGrief

• About Depression Of Grief
  • Date Read: October 02, 2016
  • Author: Alan Wolfelt
  • ISBN: 978-1-61722-193-4
  • 138 pages
  • MyRating: 5 Stars
• Introduction
  • A special note to friends and family members
• Part 1: The journey we call grief
  • Grief versus mourning
    • What is healing in grief?
  • Death and other losses
  • Grief is not a disease
  • Symptoms of normal grief
    • Shock, numbness, denial, and disbelief
      • Intentionally numbing yourself to the pain
    • Disorganization, confusion, searching, and yearning
    • Anxiety, panic, and fear
    • Explosive emotions
    • Guilt and regret
      • Survivor guilt
      • Relief-guilt
      • Joy-guilt
      • Magical thinking and guilt
      • Longstanding personality factors and guilt
    • Sadness and depression
      • Clean pain versus dirty pain
• Part 2: The sadness of grief
  • The dark night of the soul
  • The necessity of stillness
  • Liminal space
  • Sadness and empathy
  • Your divine spark
  • Honoring your pain
    • Dosing your pain
  • Making grief your friend
• Part 3: Grief depression or clinical depression?
  • What is clinical depression?
  • Grief or clinical depression?
  • Grief and clinical depression at the same time?
    • Grief and the DSM-5
  • Types of clinical depression
  • Suicide and depression
    • Warning signs of suicide
  • Good grief or complicated grief?
    • An unnatural or untimely death
    • Your personality
    • Your relationship with the person who died
    • An inability to express your grief
    • Use of drugs or alcohol
    • Absent or delayed grief
    • Distorted grief
    • Converted grief
    • Chronic grief
  • How to know if you are clinically depressed or experiencing complicated grief
  • What to do about depression
• Part 5: Medical therapies as treatment
  • Types of biomedical treatment
    • Antidepressants
    • Psychotherapy/counseling
      • Contents
      • Research-supported psychotherapies
      • Grief companioning„a form of client-centered talk therapy
    • Combined treatment„antidepressants and talk therapy
  • 11 Tenets-Companioning
    • Tenet One: Companioning is about being present to anotherpersons pain; it is not about taking away the pain.

      Tenet Two: Companioning is about going to the wilderness of thesoul with another human being; it is not about thinking you areresponsible for finding the way out

      Tenet Three: Companioning is about honoring the spirit; it is notabout focusing on the intellect.

      Tenet Four: Companioning is about listening with the heart; it is notabout analyzing with the head

      Tenet Five: Companioning is about bearing witness to the strugglesof others; it is not about judging or directing these struggles.

      Tenet Six: Companioning is about walking alongside; it is not aboutleading or being led.

      Tenet Seven: Companioning is about discovering the gifts of sacredsilence; it does not mean filling up every moment with words.

      Tenet Eight: Companioning is about being still; it is not about franticmovement forward

      Tenet Nine: Companioning is about respecting disorder andconfusion; it is not about imposingorder and logic

      Tenet Ten: Companioning is aboutlearning from others; it is not aboutteaching them.

      Tenet Eleven: Companioning is aboutcompassionate curiosity; it is not aboutexpertise

  • Finding a good counselor
    • If your counselor recommends hospitalization
• Part 4: Mourning as treatmentŽ
  • The six needs of mourning
    • Mourning Need 1: Accept the reality of the death
    • Mourning Need 2: Let yourself feel the pain of the loss
    • Mourning Need 3: Remember the person who died
    • Mourning Need 4: Develop a new self-identity
    • Mourning Need 5: Search for meaning
    • Mourning Need 6: Let others help you„now and always
  • What happens when you dont mourn
  • Symptoms of carried grief
    • Difficulties with trust and intimacy
    • Depression and negative outlook
    • Anxiety and panic attacks
    • Psychic numbing and disconnection
    • Irritability and agitation
    • Substance abuse, addictions, eating disorders
    • Physical problems, real or imagined
  • Types of Loss
    • Loss of people you love
      • Separation (physical and/or emotional)
      • Rejection
      • Hostility/grudges
      • Illness (such as Alzheimers, debilitating conditions)
      • Divorce
      • Abandonment/betrayal
      • Death
      • Empty nest
    • Loss of pets
    • Loss of aspects of self
      • Self-esteem (often through physical, sexual, or emotionalabuse or rape, humiliation, rejection, or neglect)

        Health, physical, or mental ability

        Job (downsizing, firing, failed business, retirement)

        Control (such as through addiction, victimization)

        Innocence (such as through abuse, exposure to immoralbehavior)

        Sexual identity/ability/desire

        Security (such as through financial problems, war)

        Expectations about how our lives should/would be

        Reputation

        Beliefs (religious, spiritual, belief in others we trusted)

        Dreams (cherished hopes for the future)

    • Loss of physical objects
      • Home (such as through a physical disaster, move, ortransition into assisted living environments)
      • Linking objects (special items such as photos that carryemotional weight)
      • Money
      • Belongings (through theft or fire, etc.)
      • Nature/place (through a move, changing land use)
    • Loss through developmental transitions
      • Toddlerhood to childhood
      • Childhood to adolescence
      • Adolescence to adulthood
      • Leaving home
      • Marriage
      • Having/not having children
      • Mid-life
      • Taking care of parents
      • Retirement
      • Old age
  • Grief self-inventory
    • 1. Do you have difficulties with trust and intimacy?
    • 2. Do you have a tendency toward depression
    • 3. Do you have difficulties with anxiety and/or panic attacks?
    • 4. Do you have trouble with psychic numbing and disconnection?
    • 5. Do you have difficulties with irritability and agitation?
    • 6. Do you struggle with substance abuse, addictions, or eatingdisorders?
    • 7. Do you have any physical problems, real or imagined?
    • 8. Do you find it easier to take care of others than you do to carefor yourself?
    • 9. Do you find it difficult to express your feelings?
    • 10. Do you find it difficult to ask for what you want from otherpeople?
    • 11. Do you feel a lack of meaning and purpose in your life?
  • The power of telling your story
    • Love is never the same twice and neither is grief. Each is a one-of-akindstory, a snowflake in the history of humanity. Part of your griefwork now is to tell your story, even as it continues to unfold andmorph into something ever new.

      In fact, after someone you love dies, the creation of renewedmeaning and purpose in your life requires that you re-storyŽ yourlife. As you know, your grief experience is unique and personal

• Part 6: Believe in your capacity to heal
  • Setting your intention to heal
    • Reconciling your grief
  • No reward for speed
  • Caring for yourself as you heal
    • The physical realm
    • The cognitive realm
    • The emotional realm
    • The social realm
    • The spiritual realm
  • How reconciliation feels
    • Closure: a misnomer
  • The transformative nature of grief
  • Hope for your healing
• Glossary of terms
  • anhedonia
    • the inability to experience pleasure from things thatnormally give you pleasure
  • carried grief
    • grief from earlier in life that was never mourned
  • clean pain
    • the normal and necessary hurt of loss
  • clinical depression
    • depression characterized by a depressed mood and/depression or lack of pleasure as well as other symptoms,particularly a low sense of self-worth and the inabilityto function day-to-day
  • companioning
    • my philosophy of grief counseling; the art of walkingalongside someone in grief
  • complicated
    • normal grief that has strayed off course and is not softening over time but instead becoming entrenchedor worsening
  • dirty pain
    • the compounding or distorting of the hurt of loss byworrying about what ifsŽ or catastrophizing
  • divine spark
    • your soul or essence
  • dosing your
    • embracing your hurt a bit at a time, allowing yourself to retreat and take a break before you approach itagain
  • grief
    • what you think and feel inside yourself when youexperience a loss
  • liminal space
    • the place you are when you are in transition orbetween comfortable situations
  • mourning
    • expressing your grief outside yourself
  • perturbation
    • when you embrace, explore, and express yourfeelings, which allows them to change and soften;your emotions in motion
  • reconciliation
    • when you have integrated your grief into your life andare able to once again live and love fully
• Compiled By:
  • blindcaveman.wordpress.com
  • Rigel Arcayan