>20 Years of Marriage–Progress Report

We forgot our wedding anniversary!
I woke up yesterday and had a conversation with my wife for a few minutes and rushed to work because I was already late.  When I arrived at work, I normally writes in my planner my todo for the day and when I wrote the date 20150501, I was confused for a moment and felt something strange “May 1st is a special day and I could not even remember why it was special”.  When I paused for a moment and closed my eyes, I remembered it is our “wedding anniversary”.  I guess when you are married and been together for so long, you stopped counting the years ;—).

Background
Just a little background about us.  I met her in 1986 [yes, I am old already, close to 50] back in the Philippines.  When we first met, I knew right away that she is “the one” and even wrote it in my journal [no wordpress yet] stating that I met the person whom I will marry in the future.  So brave of me saying that.  I had a few relationships in progress on the side at that time which makes the undertaking so difficult to execute.  Relationship protocols were followed and then a few months later, we fall in love with each and the rest is history.

Timeline:
1. We finished college [Nurse/EE]
2. She immigrated to the US [New York]
3. I immigrated to the US 2 years later
4. Child #1 was born
5. US Army for 4 years [Missouri, Kentucky, Korea, Texas]
6. She moved from New York to Texas [Fort Hood Army Base]
7. I returned to Texas after 1 year tour in South Korea
8. Child #2 was born
9. Built our house in Round Rock
10. Child #1 and #2 went to school elementary, middle and high school
11. Child #1 and #2 left home for college
12. Empty Nest [present]

I want to share to everyone what my observations are in my >20 years of marriage.  A perception/experience from a 48/47 years “young couple” with two kids in college and how difficult it is to keep the marriage going when there is no more spark in the relationship.   But we endure the difficult and awkward situation most of the time and we still are together living happily ever after….

Awkward Dinner
I had simple dinner date with my wife last night. We sat in a 2-person table and there was no room to sit 45 degrees from each other so we end up sitting across each other [face to face].  There’s a rule in dating that before your can invade the other person’s emotional boundaries, you have to communicate with each other in such a way that you don’t face each other face to face, the best rule is a 45-degrees.  Married couple should position themselves face to face [180 degrees] to engage a good conversation and establish eye contact.

Progress Report 20150101:

	0-10 years	> 20 years of marriage
1.	more talking	less talking
2.	more eye contact	less eye contact
3.	more romantic	less romantic
4.	more dreams discussions	less dream discussions
5.	more visions for the future	less visions of the future
6.	more pity fights	less pity fights
7.	more unnecessary words	less unnecessary words
8.	more financial problems	less financial problems
9.	more work/job related anxiety	less work/job related anxiety
10.	more superficial affection	less superficial affection
11.	more dishonesty of feelings	less dishonesty of feelings
12.	more touch	less touch
13.	more s_x	less s_x
14.	more kiss	less kiss
15.	more worries about the future	less worries about the future
16.	more fake conversation	less fake conversation
17.	more happiness	less happiness
18.	more exciting	less exciting
19.	more sensitive	less sensitive
20.	more jealous	less jealous
21.	less deep connection	more deep connection
22.	less silence	more silence

“less is more”.

The more silence we have with someone, the deeper the connection.
The deeper the connection, the stronger the relationship.
The stronger the relationship, the more years we will have with each other.

Talk less and think more and then talk.

“Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent.”
‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭17:28‬ ‭ESV‬‬
http://bible.com/59/pro.17.28.esv