NOTES: Full Cup: Chapter 6-Embracing Difficulty

Book-Full Cup Thirsty Spirit
Author-Karen Horneffer-Ginter
ISBN-978-1401939939
Pages: 224
Chapters: 6

185	How do you relate to difficulty?
186	Sometimes what’s behind our choice to be busy, consciously or unconsciously, is a desire to avoid feeling our pain
187	If you can’t get out of it, get into it
188	Life is filled with crossroad moments, how do you face it?
189	How do you face unpleasant emotions?
190	Common responses: denial, becoming anxious, drinking alcohol, getting busier, blame others, self blame
191	Most human suffering is not getting what we want or getting what we don’t want.
192	The best response to unpleasant experience or emotion – get into it. [face it]
193	Don’t be running around talking about the monster in the closet.  Open the closet and see what this perceived monster really is.
194	Sometimes in life we find ourselves, cursing at situations that are empty of blame. If no one is to blame, get to the next phase – acceptance.
195	Embrace our emotions, it helps to see that often the experiences that bring us to our knees are also what allow us to grow into the fullness of who we really are.
196	Fire of painful feelings, sometimes their presence is a gift in disguise.
197	Know, Accept and Befriend Ourselves
198	All humans, at their core, want to be loved and to feel like they have something to offer
199	I want to be loved. I want to do well.
200	Human Vulnerabilities:
201	1. wanting to fit in socially
202	2. wanting to have love reciprocated
203	3. wanting to be appreciated by family
204	4. wanting to be acknowledged at work
205	5. wanting intimacy
206	6. wanting to be accepted,
207	7. wanting to feel pretty enough
208	8. wanting to feel capable of tackling the demands of daily life, of overcoming fears, or of feeling strong enough to continue functioning in the face of depression or illness.
209	It’s okay to be humbled. It’s okay not to be all that we are expected
210	Allow yourself to amused at not winning or being proven wrong or being made fool of
211	Remember to use kindness in times of difficulties
212	How can I deal with the enormous fear and anger that I feel about what happened? ANSWER: Do one kind thing for someone every day.
213	Allow bad experiences to act as an inner fertilizer that can strengthen our capacity to open our hearts to ourselves and to those around us.
214	Think of self-compassion during a time of distress but use kindness to others as a method of delivery
215	The secret of happiness: Find something more important than you are and dedicate your life to it

PRACTICE:
1. What difficult emotions do you tend to push away? What feeling do you wish you would never have to experience again? Why?
2. How might you begin to develop a sense of hardiness in your ability to feel the sensations associated with this emotion?
3. Is there someone who could hold space for you to explore the monster-like qualities of these feared emotions?
4. Can you connect to the truth that other humans share this same pain?
5. What have been the tricksters in your life? What has caused you to be shattered? Have you found unexpected gifts in these unwanted situations?
6. Consider writing a vow to yourself. What would you want to say, at the altar, if you were to marry yourself? What commitments do you want to make?
7. What areas of vulnerability are you aware of? How do you respond to their presence?
8. What would it look like to accept and befriend yourself in moments when you feel humbled by life?
9. What tools help you to be in conversation with yourself: journaling, artistic expression, movement, communicating with others either in person or online?
10. What is the connection between kindness and difficulty in your own life?
11. What would it look like and feel like to be kind to yourself in your day-to-day life, especially when you next encounter pain or difficulty?
12. If you notice the presence of critical inner voices, see if you can identify where they come from. Notice, also, what these critical voices want for you and what they’re concerned might happen if they don’t voice their judgment.
13. Reflect on how kindness shows up in your interactions with others.
14. Can you think of a small act of kindness that made a big difference in your life? In what ways do you feel drawn to offer kindness to others?
15. Do you notice a connection between compassion and busyness in your daily life? When you initially feel too busy to be compassionate, what can you do to shift that feeling?
16. Sometimes this awareness, alone, can help us remember that kindness is always an option.