BookSummary: Full Cup
April 29, 2013 Leave a comment
Book-Full Cup Thirsty Spirit
Author-Karen Horneffer-Ginter
ISBN-978-1401939939
Pages: 224
Chapters: 6
| # | NOTES: FULL CUP |
| 1 | We have a rhythm that moves through us [pulsating heart, breathing, mood, hunger, sleep, energy level etc] |
| 2 | Rhythms differs from person to person |
| 3 | Rhythms involves showing up in the world and taking a break [1 and 0 or the yes or no, rest or go] |
| 4 | Rhythms involves our capacities for activity, engagement, need for rest, renewal and emptying out of debris |
| 5 | Our culture asks us to ignore these deeper rhythms |
| 6 | When the rhythms are ignored/disregarded, results are fatigue, undefined illness, tiredness, loss of motivation, loss of sense of peace |
| 7 | Begin to listen to and notice how your body and soul want you to live. |
| 8 | What are they craving most, and what are some small (and maybe not-so-small) ways you could honor this? |
| 9 | Are there places where you get stuck in the movement between engaging in the world and turning within? |
| 10 | How might you honor this movement between rest and activity, bringing forth new life and releasing what is stale? |
| 11 | What would this honoring look like in your daily, weekly, and monthly life? |
| 12 | Experiment in this next month by making small changes and seeing which ones have the biggest impact on your well-being. |
| 13 | The Art of Slowing Down [have time] |
| 14 | Have time to exercise |
| 15 | Have time to read a book |
| 16 | Have time to cook a meal |
| 17 | Have time to walk outside |
| 18 | Practice the lack of rushing, be a non-rusher |
| 19 | Delete the word "hurry" in your vocabulary |
| 20 | Remove the personal belief of busyness=being valuable and important |
| 21 | Have time to PAUSE! [in the middle of doing something] |
| 22 | Choose to walk slowly |
| 23 | Sit down and do nothing and think nothing |
| 24 | Be more present with yourself |
| 25 | Journey to change is complicated but it must be done |
| 26 | We chose to rush [not the external forces around us] |
| 27 | Practice downshifting very often |
| 28 | Are there beliefs you carry about the necessity of being busy that are getting in the way of slowing down? |
| 29 | Reflect on any messages you might have picked up about busyness being associated with success or worthiness. |
| 30 | What do you fear would happen if you slowed down? |
| 31 | Which beliefs and fears are you ready to let go of? |
| 32 | Reflect on your relationship to rushing. What changes do you want to make? |
| 33 | Are there certain tasks or times of day that might be worth moving through at an intentionally slower pace? |
| 34 | What would help you to shift gears even if only for an hour? |
| 35 | Experiment with the art of slowing down—find one activity each day that you can intentionally do at a slow pace. |
| 36 | Try eating a meal slowly, or next time you drive somewhere take your time as you walk from the parking lot to the building. |
| 37 | Take time to notice what it’s like to move at this pace. |
| 38 | What do you notice that would have gone unseen, un-tasted, or unheard on another day? |
| 39 | Take time-outs. Sit in a corner and do nothing or think nothing or take a nap |
| 40 | Balancing is viewed as fundamental to healing. |
| 41 | When the body is stagnant, it needs stimulation to begin moving again |
| 42 | When it’s depleted, it needs nourishment |
| 43 | When it’s damp and cold, it needs heat |
| 44 | When it’s hot and dry, it needs cooling moisture |
| 45 | When we’ve been extremely active, we need rest |
| 46 | When we’ve been sitting at a computer inside, we need movement outside |
| 47 | When we’ve been in our head with too much thinking, we need to reconnect with our heart and our feelings |
| 48 | When we’ve been engaged in repetitive tasks, we need inspiration |
| 49 | When we’ve been serious, we need some lightness and laughter |
| 50 | 50 Ways to take a Break |
| 51 | 1. Take a bath |
| 52 | 2. Listen to music |
| 53 | 3. Light a candle |
| 54 | 4. Rest with your legs up on a wall |
| 55 | 5. Take a nap |
| 56 | 6. Listen to a guided relaxation |
| 57 | 7. Take deep belly breaths |
| 58 | 8. Let out a sigh |
| 59 | 9. Turn off all electronics |
| 60 | 10. Enjoy a warm beverage |
| 61 | 11. Eat a meal in silence |
| 62 | 12. Sit in silence |
| 63 | 13. Write a journal |
| 64 | 14. Go on a walk |
| 65 | 15. Sit in nature |
| 66 | 16. Explore a park |
| 67 | 17. Go to a farmers’ market |
| 68 | 18. Meander around town |
| 69 | 19. Go to a body of water |
| 70 | 20. Fly a kite |
| 71 | 21. Watch the clouds |
| 72 | 22. Watch the stars |
| 73 | 23. Go for a run |
| 74 | 24. Take a bike ride |
| 75 | 25. Drive somewhere new |
| 76 | 26. Climb a tree |
| 77 | 27. Do some gentle stretches |
| 78 | 28. Put on music and dance |
| 79 | 29. Move twice as slowly |
| 80 | 30. Notice your body |
| 81 | 31. Make some music |
| 82 | 32. Paint on a surface other than paper |
| 83 | 33. Color with crayons: |
| 84 | 34. Read or watch something funny |
| 85 | 35. Read poetry |
| 86 | 36. Write a quick poem |
| 87 | 37. Learn something new |
| 88 | 38. Take a photograph |
| 89 | 39. Find a relaxing scent |
| 90 | 40. Examine an everyday object with fresh eyes |
| 91 | 41. Pet a furry creature |
| 92 | 42. Buy flowers |
| 93 | 43. Read a book |
| 94 | 44. View art |
| 95 | 45. Let something go |
| 96 | 46. Forgive someone |
| 97 | 47. Call a friend |
| 98 | 48. Write a letter |
| 99 | 49. Engage in a small act of kindness |
| 100 | 50. Give thanks |
| 101 | When slowing down and taking breaks are not enough, the next step is to step away from life in a more significant way. |
| 102 | Unplug from daily life and deeply reconnect with self |
| 103 | Time being alone is directly proportional to busyness. If you are too busy, the more time you need to be alone to unwind |
| 104 | Quite time is a must. |
| 105 | Set aside a day or two for a retreat |
| 106 | Unplug for a day or two from anything |
| 107 | Go inward for a day-self retreat. |
| 108 | Step away from life for a day or two |
| 109 | Create space in your life intentionally |
| 110 | Radically simplify your life |
| 111 | Don’t peek at your next task or next move, stay with the PRESENT, the "NOW" |
| 112 | Feel the event at the moment. Be fully present |
| 113 | Set aside one day each week to nourish yourself, talk to self, write a journal about self, meditate, sleep, pray. |
| 114 | Connect to what matters most |
| 115 | Nourish our spiritual being through rest and reflection produces greater balance. |
| 116 | Emotional and physical health is as important as the spiritual. |
| 117 | Basics of emotional/physical health often times neglected. |
| 118 | Self care is essential to being healthy – body, mind, spirit |
| 119 | Don’t ignore the very basics of human needs |
| 120 | If we are hungry, we take in food |
| 121 | If we are tired, we go to sleep |
| 122 | If we need to dispose waste, we go to the bathroom |
| 123 | There is a simple relationship between what the body needs and how the body responds, ignoring those needs are not being wise |
| 124 | As we become older, we tend to ignore or able to tolerate such needs [peer pressure or just merely the drive to succeed] |
| 125 | Are you a black belt in ignoring your needs? |
| 126 | When your body request downtime, do you drink coffee instead? |
| 127 | We have the mindset of work hard-play hard, do whatever it takes [with disregard to the self needs] |
| 128 | Hard work and constant busyness are somehow the main theme in our endeavor. |
| 129 | We carry certain beliefs that we don’t need to take care of our self needs/care. |
| 130 | Sometimes avoiding self-care was a response to having a mother/father who had been extremely self-absorbed and inattentive and we want to do the opposite |
| 131 | Don’t wait for your "tank" to be in EMPTY, fill it up |
| 132 | What is the MOST essential now? |
| 133 | Dimensions of Life |
| 134 | 1.Body |
| 135 | 2. Mind/Heart |
| 136 | 3. Spirit |
| 137 | 4. Social Relationship |
| 138 | 5. Work/Service/Finances |
| 139 | 6. Home and Family |
| 140 | Stages of Change |
| 141 | 1. Pre-contemplation (not intending to make a change) |
| 142 | 2. Contemplation (intending to take action in the next six months) |
| 143 | 3. Preparation (intending to take action in the next month) |
| 144 | 4. Action (engaging in the new behavior) |
| 145 | 5. Maintenance (sustaining the behavioral change over time) |
| 146 | Changes takes time. |
| 147 | Inhabit-Be present in; exist or be situated within |
| 148 | Act intentionally of paying attention to beauty of life/world |
| 149 | Discover objects of beauty over and over again |
| 150 | Loving-kindness can be defined as “paying attention. |
| 151 | “The way we do anything can reflect the way we do everything.” |
| 152 | Think the NOW – the present, what you are currently doing and do not wander |
| 153 | Do every task as if you are in a sacred ceremony. |
| 154 | Show up in life and pay attention |
| 155 | Sense the things around you |
| 156 | Hear the seen and the unseen |
| 157 | Do one thing at a time [strictly] |
| 158 | You cannot make soybeans into corn; you cannot make someone he’s/she’s fundamentally not. |
| 159 | Practice "Hmm … isn’t that interesting?" [get interested in small wonders around you] |
| 160 | Ex.1 I’ve got a $50 parking ticket and I have to write an appeal. Say "Hmm … isn’t that interesting?" and find a way to write an essay to avoid the fine. |
| 161 | Ex.2 My wife is mad at me. Say "Hmm … isn’t that interesting?" and find a way to win her creatively. |
| 162 | Practice |
| 163 | Ex.3 I have a heart attack. Say "Hmm … isn’t that interesting?" and find a way to survive 50 more years after. |
| 164 | Ex.4 I lost my job. Say "Hmm … isn’t that interesting?" and find a way to land a job/livelihood that pays more and more enjoyable. |
| 165 | Ex.5 Me my husband lost our love for each other. Say "Hmm … isn’t that interesting?" and look for ways to get back on track like the first month of the relationship. |
| 166 | Ex.6 I failed in my exams today. Say "Hmm … isn’t that interesting?" and find a creative way to get better. |
| 167 | Ex.7 I’ve got cancer and I have 6 months to live. Say "Hmm … isn’t that interesting?" and find out what else you have not done to make a mark to the people around you. |
| 168 | Ex.8 I’m really tired of my job and I want to change. Say "Hmm … isn’t that interesting? and think 20 years ahead and see what it will be like if you stay put. |
| 169 | Ex.10 My life has no direction and I’m stucked. Say "Hmm … isn’t that interesting? and write down a list of things in a piece of paper that you have not done or explored – then pick one and do it. |
| 170 | Write a journal and tell something about your life. |
| 171 | Take a special photograph each day with an intention of finding beauty in it like no one else. |
| 172 | 4 Questions |
| 173 | 1. When did you stop singing |
| 174 | 2. When did you stop dancing |
| 175 | 3. When did you lose your sense of enchantment with stories, and in particular, your own life story? |
| 176 | 4. When did you become uncomfortable with silence? |
| 177 | Lightness-a feeling of joy and pride |
| 178 | Seriousness-opposite of lightness [sort of] |
| 179 | Humor and lightness disappear as we mature |
| 180 | Life becomes more serious when serious things happen like illnesses or the loss of relationships, loved ones, or jobs. |
| 181 | As to-do lists increase and the balance between work and home gets more complicated, humor and fun depart |
| 182 | Find enchantment in life by making a difference in the world around us and offer a sense of meaning and fulfillment in our lives |
| 183 | Identify things that make you come alive |
| 184 | Identify things that deplete you, then avoid |
| 185 | How do you relate to difficulty? |
| 186 | Sometimes what’s behind our choice to be busy, consciously or unconsciously, is a desire to avoid feeling our pain |
| 187 | If you can’t get out of it, get into it |
| 188 | Life is filled with crossroad moments, how do you face it? |
| 189 | How do you face unpleasant emotions? |
| 190 | Common responses: denial, becoming anxious, drinking alcohol, getting busier, blame others, self blame |
| 191 | Most human suffering is not getting what we want or getting what we don’t want. |
| 192 | The best response to unpleasant experience or emotion – get into it. [face it] |
| 193 | Don’t be running around talking about the monster in the closet. Open the closet and see what this perceived monster really is. |
| 194 | Sometimes in life we find ourselves, cursing at situations that are empty of blame. If no one is to blame, get to the next phase – acceptance. |
| 195 | Embrace our emotions, it helps to see that often the experiences that bring us to our knees are also what allow us to grow into the fullness of who we really are. |
| 196 | Fire of painful feelings, sometimes their presence is a gift in disguise. |
| 197 | Know, Accept and Befriend Ourselves |
| 198 | All humans, at their core, want to be loved and to feel like they have something to offer |
| 199 | I want to be loved. I want to do well. |
| 200 | Human Vulnerabilities: |
| 201 | 1. wanting to fit in socially |
| 202 | 2. wanting to have love reciprocated |
| 203 | 3. wanting to be appreciated by family |
| 204 | 4. wanting to be acknowledged at work |
| 205 | 5. wanting intimacy |
| 206 | 6. wanting to be accepted, |
| 207 | 7. wanting to feel pretty enough |
| 208 | 8. wanting to feel capable of tackling the demands of daily life, of overcoming fears, or of feeling strong enough to continue functioning in the face of depression or illness. |
| 209 | It’s okay to be humbled. It’s okay not to be all that we are expected |
| 210 | Allow yourself to amused at not winning or being proven wrong or being made fool of |
| 211 | Remember to use kindness in times of difficulties |
| 212 | How can I deal with the enormous fear and anger that I feel about what happened? ANSWER: Do one kind thing for someone every day. |
| 213 | Allow bad experiences to act as an inner fertilizer that can strengthen our capacity to open our hearts to ourselves and to those around us. |
| 214 | Think of self-compassion during a time of distress but use kindness to others as a method of delivery |
| 215 | The secret of happiness: Find something more important than you are and dedicate your life to it |