Being With..

I shared a playlist with my daughter and she noticed right away that I deviated from my Hillsong playlist to the song below.  Being trained to be honest and direct, she jokingly confronted me right away “Hey dad, how come you were playing a song from “Foreigner” today?”.  Deep inside me was a smile and I was going to give her a fictional answer but I told her the half story [just half].

Here’s the story.
I’m practicing “overcoming vulnerability” lately.  Also, testing theories of “guilt and shame” and how it affects our mood and temperament as we venture outside our comfort zones.  I had been wandering outside my personal boundaries lately and crossing over just a little bit.  It feels scary [shame stuff] sometimes because I might be misunderstood but I don’t really care – I just want to know how it feels to be so open and vulnerable to other people’s criticism, opinions and shallow/deep conclusion.  In doing this, I strike a friendship with someone.  This friendship is developing very slow because the other party has no clue of what I’m doing and also highly v-shielded.  I don’t want to be misunderstood so sometimes I pulled out a “top secret” thing from my past life and share this information to the other person.  Reciprocity really is very important in a relationship [not just love relationship].  I’m reminded during the conversation that there is something in a relationship that makes it work [or kills it] – the lack of connection.  I think it is obvious when connection is not there, but then when connection is vague,  how can you tell that it existed.  So sometimes you have to dig deeper from the heart, go back a few years from your past life and then re-experience the moment.  The song “Waiting for a girl like you” brought me there.   

No, I don’t listen to those songs anymore.  I still love that girl and feels the connection.  Circumstance is different now when years are accumulated almost 30 years of knowing and being with each other.

PS. For those who cannot sing this song yet, please be patient, that person is coming to your life.

"Waiting For A Girl/Guy Like You"

1    So long
2    I’ve been looking too hard, I’ve waiting too long
3    Sometimes I don’t know what I will find
4    I only know it’s a matter of time
5    When you love someone
6    When you love someone
7   
8    It feels so right, so warm and true
9    I need to know if you feel it too
10   
11    Maybe I’m wrong
12    Won’t you tell me if I’m coming on too strong
13    This heart of mine has been hurt before
14    This time I want be be sure
15   
16    I’ve been waiting for a girl like you
17    To come into my life
18    I’ve been waiting for a girl like you
19    A love that will survive
20    I’ve been waiting for someone new
21    To make me feel alive
22    Yeah, waiting for a girl like you
23    To come into my life
24   
25    You’re so good
26    When we make love it’s understood
27    It’s more than a touch or a word we say
28    Only in dreams could it be this way
29    When you love someone
30    Yeah, really love someone
31   
32    Now, I know it’s right
33    From the moment I wake up till deep in the night
34    There’s no where on earth that I’d rather be
35    Than holding you, tenderly