eudaimonia and motivation

November 30, 2015 Leave a comment

“eudaimonia-refers to a state of having a good indwelling spirit or being in a contented state of being healthy, happy and prosperous”.

Why do people hurt other people?  A simple question with a simple answer – but to really know the real answer, it will take a deeper investigation into the theories of beliefs, desires, emotions and motivation. 

We are always looking for something better.  
Seldom in life that we look for darkness. Seldom in life that we look for a disease.  Seldom in life that we look for unpleasant things.  Seldom in life that we desire hate.  Seldom in life that we desire nothingness.  Seldom in life that we desire discomfort.  Seldom in life that we desire war or violence.

But when we see  or experience something unnatural [hurt or crisis]– we sometimes ask these questions:
1. Why did we choose darkness over excellence?
2. Why did we choose discomfort over a nice bed?
3. Why did we choose hatred over love and affection?
4. Why did we choose the undesirable over normal wants?
5. Why did we choose disagreement over unity?
6. Why did we choose infidelity over honor?
7. Why did we choose sadness over joy?

Finding answers.
Some of us will climb a mountain to find the feeling of exhilaration and sense of accomplishment.  Some moves out away from the city to find stillness and peace.  Some goes into a life long retreat to recreate the inner being.  Some renounce technology and goes back to the basics of life which is just food, clothing and shelter .  To some, they cheat their spouse or partner to find happiness with another creature.  To some, they turn to alcohol and drugs to taste ecstasy and temporary state of being happy. To some, they lock their door [physical and emotional] to get away from everyone.  To some, they listen to heartwarming and inspirational music to soothe the troubled mind. 

some answers…
Lately, I took a long and boring journey into the pages of these books and found some answers. 
Mindmap-BookSummary-LivingAndLovingAfterBetrayal
Mindmap-BookSummary-Codependency
Mindmap-BookSummary-StopCaretaking
Mindmap-BookSummary-ToFlourishOrDestruct

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BookSummary: 25 Habits of Highly Successful Investors

September 21, 2014 1 Comment

Mindmap-BookSummary-25HabitsOfHighlySuccessfulInvestors.html
BookSummary-25HabitsOfHighlySuccessfulInvestors.pdf
http://www.amazon.com/The-Habits-Highly-Successful-Investors/dp/1440556628

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Habit 1: Know Yourself—and Know What to Expect
Habit 2: Know and Use Basic Investing Math
Habit 3: Get the Right—and Right Amount of—Information
Habit 4: Find Your Diversification Sweet Spot
Habit 5: Segment, or “Tier,” Your Portfolio
Habit 6: Work Hard and Work Smart
Habit 7: Buy Like You’re Buying a Business
Habit 8: Buy What You Understand, Understand What You Buy
Habit 9: Appraise Funds Realistically
Habit 10: Value Thy Fundamentals
Habit 11: Look for Cash in All the Right Places
Habit 12: Don’t Forget the Intangibles
Habit 13: Put on Your Marketing Hat
Habit 14: Put on Your Street Shoes
Habit 15: Sense the Management Style
Habit 16: Look for Signs of Value, Signs of Unvalue
Habit 17: Do Your Threes—Three Pros, Three Cons
Habit 18: Buy with a Margin of Safety
Habit 19: Buy Smart—When You Decide to Buy
Habit 20: Keep Your Finger on the Pulse:
Habit 21: React, But Don’t Overreact, to News
Habit 22: Pay Yourself
Habit 23: Don’t Marry Your Investments
Habit 24: Sell When There’s Something Better to Buy
Habit 25: Measure Your Results

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BookSummary: Executive Function

August 20, 2014 1 Comment

 

BookSummary: Executive Function

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NOTES: Bloom’s Taxonomy

January 10, 2014 Leave a comment

Desire #2-Curiosity, the desire for cognition and learning from “Normal Personality” got me curious about how to improve learning and how to encourage slow learners and to motivate people that has “less desire” for curiosity.

I found the answers in Bloom’s Taxonomy.

MindMap-Blooms Taxonomy V2
Mindmap-Bloom’s Taxonomy Simple
Notes: Bloom’s Taxonomy [.pdf]
QuickGuide-BloomsTaxonomy [.xls]
Book: Educational Psychology
Google Search

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BookSummary: The Normal Personality-A New Way of Thinking about People

December 21, 2013 2 Comments

Book-Normal Personality
Author-Steven Reiss
ISBN-978-052-0521707442
Chapters: 10
Pages: 213
myRating: 5 Stars

QuickGuide-NormalPersonality.xls
BookSummary-NormalPersonality.pdf

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Normal Personality-The Book
If you want to understand who you are, what are your strengths and weaknesses, why are you so different from other people, why sometimes you don’t get along well with other people or your spouse or your significant others – this book is for you.

My Notes
I took some notes and placed it in excel format so that I will be able to see my 16-Desires and what it means in a simple way possible and be able to review quickly for later use.  I could not find a free motivation profile test online so I developed my own [ QuickGuide-NormalPersonality.xls]  using simple excel formulas. This is not an official Reiss Motivation Profile test but I think if you try to answer the Q&A portion on Sheet 1 and 2 slowly and honestly, you will be able to get a good picture of your motivation profile and then understand who you really are.  If you let your spouse/future partner take the test also using worksheet #2, the comparison is plotted side by side in worksheet #3 and match/mismatched are highlighted.

Please read the book first before you deep dive in understanding  about RMP and what the author is trying to convey regarding the 16 Desires that he came up with and why.  The author’s view regarding Freud’s many theories in psychoanalysis are intriguing but has validity and truth.

My objectives in reading the book are to find meaning of failures in life in general and understand why relationship between two initially loving and romantic couple degrades overtime and how to place countermeasures so not to repeat the mistakes of others or to prevent from a life or a relationship disaster to become a second or third occurrence.  Reading the book, knowing the 16 Desires and understanding what it means made my personal understanding better of why I sometimes do certain things or feel.

16 Desires Questionnaires
[if you don’t have Excel in your computer or unable to use the Excel file to view your 16 Desires profile, please email your answers to [email protected]. ]

[1] Insufficient
[2] Low-Intensity
[3] Average
[4] High-Intensity
[5] Excessive

Motive Description
Acceptance 1. You are noticeably more insecure than most people are.
Acceptance 2. You have more difficulty than most people handling criticism.
Acceptance 3. You have a reputation for being inconsistent in your performance.
Curiosity 1. You have a reputation for being analytical or thoughtful.
Curiosity 2. Your ideas are very important to you.
Curiosity 3. You have a reputation as a thinker.
Eating 1. You derive a lot of pleasure from eating.
Eating 2. You have a tendency to be overweight.
Eating 3. You know a lot about gourmet foods.
Family 1. Your children are everything to you.
Family 2. You like to be around children.
Family 3. You spend a lot of time with your family.
Honor 1. You make it a point to do your duty.
Honor 2. You have a reputation for loyalty.
Honor 3. Your word is your bond.
Idealism 1. You have compassion for poor and sick people.
Idealism 2. You admire people whose work benefits humanity or the needy.
Idealism 3. You give generously to charities.
Independence 1. It is very important to you to be self-reliant.
Independence 2. You have a reputation for being stubborn.
Independence 3. You have a reputation for doing things your way.
Order 1. You have a reputation for being well organized.
Order 2. You have a reputation for cleanliness.
Order 3. You have difficulty adapting to change.
Physical Activity 1. Working out is important to your happiness.
Physical Activity 2. Twice you made an athletic team (high school plus college combined).
Physical Activity 3. Being fit is very important to you.
Power 1. You have a reputation as a self-starter.
Power 2. You seek leadership roles.
Power 3. You have a tendency to give others unsolicited advice.
Romance 1. You dress attractively almost every day.
Romance 2. Sex is essential to your happiness.
Romance 3. People who attract many sex partners impress you.
Saving 1. You mend old rather than buy new replacements.
Saving 2. You hate throwing things away.
Saving 3. You have a reputation for being frugal.
Social Contact 1. You are good at social networking.
Social Contact 2. You have a reputation for being friendly.
Social Contact 3. You have a more active social life than most people you know.
Status 1. You have a reputation for being a formal person.
Status 2. You usually buy the most prestigious items you can afford.
Status 3. You are impressed with wealthy people.
Tranquility 1. You are a worrier.
Tranquility 2. You have panic attacks.
Tranquility 3. You have little tolerance for pain.
Vengeance 1. You get into many quarrels, arguments, or fights.
Vengeance 2. You have a reputation for being a competitor or a fighter.
Vengeance 3. Winning is very important to you.

Sample 16 Desire Profile of a husband and wife
Mismatches-Curiosity and Physical Activity [not so relevant to the survival of a relationship.

A mismatch on Honor [the desire to behave morally] is the #1 cause of a relationship problem.
Honor example: lying, not keeping your word or promises, loyalty

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BookNotes: Sex Drive-In Pursuit of Female Desire

October 17, 2013 Leave a comment

Book- Sex Drive-In Pursuit of Female Desire
Author-Clayton
ISBN-978 174175 6661
Chapters: 10
Pages: 362
myRating: 5 Stars

On my last entry, I mentioned about the Principle: Don’t Jump To Conclusions . Ok, here’s my plea, don’t jump to conclusion and start your investigation or inquiry/imagination why I am reading a book with this title. I don’t need to explain or justify my reasons here why I spent 48 hours studying the subject.  I understand that  there is no biblical passages found in this book.  But why? You may wonder about my reasons and purpose but please don’t jump to conclusions.  Someone said “Knowledge is Power”.  When you learn something you don’t know, it becomes a stored energy within you and with the right moment and right circumstance, you can harness that power and turn it into something useful and productive and meaningful.  Convinced?  You don’t have to…

Seriously, here’s my reasons of reading this book:
1. I’m taking another one-week vacation from work and tired of reading technical and computer books, mowing my yard, inventing something, reading Instructables, taking notes on Hyper-V issues etc [Samsung lift the mandatory vacation but this week was already approved]
2. I wanted to know why sweet, good and loving couples end up in separate houses and different partners over time.
3. Just curious about the subject
4. Knowledge, I just want to know …

Warning:
1. If you are a wife, read this book
2. If you are a husband, read this book
3. Others, do not read this book, it’s not for you. It does not apply to you!

 

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0-Crisis in women’s sexuality
It’s the end of another long day and you’ve barely survived
it. You stand at the mirror and brush your teeth, scrutinizing
the lines on your face. You wonder, as you open the little
bottle, when you started using cream specifically for the
under-eye region. Was that the point when you started
ageing?

You crawl into bed and rest your body against your partner’s
solid form. Although he is also tired, his mouth finds your
neck and his hands bring you closer. But you don’t want the
intimacy, the physical connection. You’d like to sleep, read
your novel, or analyze why your co-worker is so mercurial.
Besides, you don’t feel the least bit sexy, and everybody
knows that’s the key to everything.

When it comes to women’s priorities, is sex on top? A study
discussed later in the book estimated that 43 per cent of
American women are dissatisfied with sex.1 A Canadian
journal reported that 30–35 per cent of women experienced a
lack of sexual desire.2 Research in Germany found that once a
woman is in a secure relationship her sex drive begins to
plummet.3

Women are collectively not in the mood because inside our
cerebral cortex, where arousal originates, there is a to-do list
that is never-ending. And just when it looks like you’ve
nailed all the tasks, another lot file in, obliterating any thought
of sex.

DINS-double income no sex;

“Libido refers to our sexual drive, but also our general vigor
and enthusiasm. Low libido leads to reduced interest in sex
and reduced creative expression of our sexuality. However,
rather than dissipating altogether, our libido often gets
funneled from sex into other areas of our life: Our career can
gobble that intense, heady focus. As can our homes, dinner
tables and wardrobes. And most undoubtedly, a singular
absorption with our children can supersede even the early,
blossoming stage of limerence.
In other words, often it is not that our libido is low, but rather
that our creative energy is being directed elsewhere, from
seduction and carnality to more contained pursuits.”

10-Bringing Sexy Back
most cases, the advice given to women with low libido is talk to your doctor
but most women, this is the last thing they want to do
other advices: do home research, consult self-help books
other forms of treatment: acupuncture, herbal remedies or sexuality workshop
when you visit a doctor: questions about:
1. medical history
2. hormonal status
3. changes in sexual interest
4. trouble with arousal
5. orgasm or vaginal dryness
6. pain
7. emotional distress
8. use of medication

Category of Sexual Problems
1. can’t get it up
2. can’t get it in
3. can’t be bothered

5 Scale of Sexual Desire
1. Initiatory—here you are motivated to have sex, look out for
sexual opportunities and feel, in her words, ‘horny’
2. receptive—in the next level, you are receptive to sex and
willing to engage if your partner initiates
3. available—here you are prepared to have sex, but don’t feel
spontaneous lust
4. neutral—your motivation to engage in sex is low
5. disinclined—you experience no lust or interest in sexual
activity.

Sex therapy does not have a good success rate
Who in the relationship is in the best position to fix the sexual stalemate?
Is it you? Is it him?

Newton’s Law of Motion

Why not think about love the way we think about the laws of
motion? Here is Newton’s first law: An object’s inertia
causes it to continue moving at the same speed and in the
same direction unless it is acted upon by an unbalanced
force. Inertia, then, means resistance to change. If the forces
on us are balanced—that is, in equilibrium—change will not
occur.

“Inertia is also what happens in long-term relationships, which
start off heady and intoxicating, but over time drain
themselves of passion. We can counter the sexual stalemate,
but the wider is the sexual gap between partners, the greater is
the unbalanced force that needs to be applied. The more
established the pattern, the greater the distance one must
bridge. It seems that the longer we stand in the space of lovers
turned friends, or lover punishing lover—the longer we stand
apart and the greater the work required to restore eros.”

“If you are in a relationship where the sexual current has
slowed, an important question to ask is,  Who has the most to lose
if the situation is not improved? If desire remains
dormant, with one partner unsatisfied, what might the
consequences be? Marital incompatibility? Threat of
adultery? Relationship discontinuation? Or simply one or
both of you feeling undesired, unseen?”

“When men cheat, it is often so that they can be seen
differently—as important, powerful, sexy, exciting, larger
than they are in the four walls of their home relationship.
Women, too, may look to a new lover to be heard, witnessed,
appreciated. It is this freshness that gives an affair voltage. At
its heart, an affair is highly narcissistic—more about you than
the other person.”

Get it back:
1. Kiss your partner everyday-turning on the senses
2. Sexual mindfulness-be at the moment, touch with love; be fully engage
3. Turn off “The List”- it should not be in your to do list, be spontaneous
4. Open-eyed-look into each other’s eyes deeply when …
5. Prioritize passion-there is work, parenting, household chores but put passion as #1; create an environment and allow time to have it; set your partner as an important part of your life [again] and just a partner in business or a roommate
6. Schedule a weekly date nights
7. Manufacture danger-take up rock climbing together; ride a roller coasters together; these increases dopamine production;
8. Distance-get away from each other for a while. Think of inertia, a balanced system will stay balanced until a force is applied. Tip the scale or stir the pot sometimes but know your boundaries.
9. Have a romantic meal
10. Think that he or she is your partner for life [you used to have a good time together]
11. Avoid drug treatments, there are side effects.
12. Everything starts in you. Don’t wait for your partner. No one will. 

from Blind Caveman
13. Never give up if there is no evident result, life and relationship is not all about sex
14. Learn to accept each other. You promised that when you said “I do”.

FSFI-Female Sexual Function Index [view Questionnaire]

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Notes: Creative Writing

July 15, 2013 Leave a comment

Book-Get Started In Creative Writing
Author-Stephen May
ISBN: 978-1444103180
Chapters: 20
Pages: 319
My Rating: 5 Stars

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Notes-Creative Writing

  • Book Information
    • Title
      • Get Started in Creative Writing
    • Author
      • Stephen May
    • ISBN
      • 978-1444103180
    • Chapters
      • 20
    • Pages
      • 319
    • My Rating
      • 5 Stars
  • Writing Rules
    • Don’t preach
    • Don’t pad
    • Don’t repeat yourself
    • Don’t be discouraged
    • Don’t be pessimistic
  • Writing Sources
    • List of jobs
    • List of places
    • Places you lived
    • People you’ve worked with
    • Hobbies and Interests
    • Names/Job interest of people you know
    • Autobiography
  • Simple Advices
    • Specialize
    • Use an unusual angle
    • Use humor
    • Think about all points to include
    • Sort
    • Plan
    • Write the list in a draft
    • Choose a snappy title
    • Double check all your facts
    • Put your article in the drawer and wait [incubate]
    • Write a second draft
    • Get feedback
  • Imagination and Writing Exercise
    • a still of life-slow down your life
    • have a sense of place
    • write about a desire
    • drip feed your history
    • write about people
    • evoke and inform
    • inform and evoke
    • less is more
    • one incident/event, write about it
    • think if can add to the sum of human knowledge
    • be honest
    • have social interaction
    • create a persona
  • Stand and Stare Exercise
    • Think of an object
    • Think of a place
    • Think of an event
    • Think of a hometown

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Notes-VisualMeeting

July 8, 2013 Leave a comment

Being a technical person and a pure problem solver at work, I made it clear to my peers and boss that I don’t like to attend meetings.  If you want to discuss something with me, you need to drop by at my cube and I will give you my undivided attention.  My line of work has evolved lately and I have to spend more time in the carpet [this is what my factory peers choose to call the people in the cubicle – carpet worker or armchair quarterback] . Being in the carpet, we are always called for meetings for just about anything that comes up in our department.  If a hard problem arises, they call for a meeting.  If a mouse is trapped in the cabinet, they call for a meeting. [I’m just kidding] .There is also a daily morning meeting at 0750 which is better now due to the carefully planned agenda.  But sometimes, this morning meeting can also suffer from the syndrome called “meeting bounce” where a topic on the table is not part of the main agenda.  This ‘”meeting bounce” syndrome can be hard to stop sometimes especially when the bouncer are your superiors.

This weekend, I wanted to learn more about improving the way we hold meetings and did some search on the web of a good book to educate me.  I ended up with Visual Meetings by Sibbet.  I took some notes but you really have to read the book yourself to get the full dosage of learning.  Such a good read and lots of illustration as the book implied – Visual.

Book-Visual Meetings
Author-David Sibbet
ISBN: 978-0470601785
Chapters: 23
Pages: 259
My Rating: 5 Stars

View .pdf by Freeplane | Freeplane Website

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Notes-VisualMeeting

  • Core Idea
    • Imagine
      • Imagine the problem to solve
      • Explore the pattern
      • Store chunks of information
      • Find the pattern
    • Vision
      • Listen
      • Visualize
      • See
      • Talk
    • Values
    • Action
    • Results
  • Meetings
    • Purpose of Meeting
      • Launch a team
      • Make decision
      • Track/Guide progress
      • Lead change process
    • Meeting starts in our imagination
    • Visualize meeting purposes and objectives
    • You can’t control thinking but can guide it
    • Tools for visual meetings
      • Display
      • Mapping
      • Diagramming
    • Visions to action
      • Roadmap
      • Gameplan
      • Progress map
      • Task list
      • Journey charts
      • Dashboards
    • Power of visual meetings
      • Sparking imagination
      • Thinking Big picture
      • Engaging people actively
      • Supporting group memory and productivity
    • Why Meetings?
      • Why are we here?
      • Who are you?
        • What might you be asking
      • What are we doing?
        • How are we going to do it?
    • Models
      • Who is there?
      • Who are you?
      • What are we doing?
      • How are we going to do it?
    • Types of meeting
      • Welcoming new members
      • Initial session
      • Brainstorming and design
      • Annual meeting
      • Visioning session
      • Problem solving
      • Learning session
      • Decision making
      • Project kickoff
      • Board retreat
      • Virtual team meeting
  • Learning
    • Learning Cycle
      • Imagination with intentions and task focus
      • Exploration and engagement
      • Thinking/pattern finding
      • Decision to move to action and application
  • Thinking
    • Process of finding connection
    • Solving problems
    • Revealing a design
    • Setting the criteria for decision
    • The Thinking Process
      • What are the simplest/the most fundamental elements
      • Work towards the most complex
    • 4 Ways To Get Started
      • Personal visualization using journal/sketchbook
      • One on one meeting
      • Graphic template
      • Let others draw
    • Thinking Exercises
      • Doodle faces
      • Spontaneous drawing
      • Mind mapping
      • Spontaneous writing
        • write a question and answer w/out thinking
      • Trace drawing
      • Note taking
      • landscapes
  • 4WH
    • Who?
    • What?
    • When?
    • Where?
    • How?
  • Journaling
    • Draw setting charts
    • Practice bullet points
    • Play with lines and borders
    • Doodle little people
    • Play with cartoon bubble
    • Take notes in a different format
  • Push and Pull
    • Push
      • asserts itself
      • changes things by adding context
      • Rule based
      • Guidelines
      • Creates resistance
      • ex. Powerpoint is a push
    • People feel pushed by
      • Instructions
      • Dense contents
      • Predesigned formats
      • Confrontation/attacks
      • Decision
      • Evaluation
      • Proposal
    • People feel pulled by
      • Open questions
      • Simple images
      • Silence
      • Moving back out of the way
      • Blank paper/blank spaces
      • Open hand drawn charts
      • Uncertainty
      • Breakdown in agenda
  • Brainstorming
    • Rules
      • Suspend judgment
      • Speak whatever occurs
      • Don’t edit, same ideas ok
      • Write down all ideas
      • Work quickly
    • Types of Brainstorming
      • List brainstorming
      • Howto or I wonder
      • Sticky notes wall
      • Vision breakout
      • Improvise
        • make things up
      • Discuss/propose
    • 5 Steps
      • Understand the problems
      • Identify success criteria
      • Brainstorm solution
      • Pick best solution
      • Implement solution
  • Storyboarding
    • Break information down
    • Arrange in narrative flow
    • Look at the big picture
  • Idea Mapping
    • add central idea in the middle
    • Identify something connected
    • create branch
    • keep adding branches
    • Purpose
      • to stimulate thinking
      • to think linearly
  • Visioning Process
    • Preparing
    • Exploring and learning
    • Agreeing on current realities
    • Opening to a vision
    • Creating strategies
    • Implementing change
    • Living the vision
    • Exercise
      • Write your career histories, 15years
      • Write your career future, 5 years
  • SWOT
    • Strength
    • Weakness
    • Opportunities
    • Threats
  • Change
    • How to change
      • Go beyond brainstorm session
      • Come to shared agreement
      • Unite what step to begin
    • stress tension=creative tension
    • Creative people

      • they have the capacity to keep themselves in the space of creative tension long enough to create extraordinary results

        each day, they make progress

        structural tension drives creative action

        they have an appetite for creative tension and hold their visions while exploring every way possible to change current reality

    • Agreeing on Action Plan
      • Where are we now?
      • Where do we want to go?
      • How do we get there?
      • What are the success factors?
  • Team Performance
    • Flow of action
    • Flow of energy
    • Flow of information
    • Flow of operation
    • Models
      • Orientation
        • Why here?
      • Trust building
        • Who are you?
      • Goal clarification
        • What are we doing?
      • Commitment
        • How will we do it?
      • Implementation
        • Who does what/when/where?
      • High performance
        • WOW
      • Renewal
        • Why continue?
    • Decision Funnel
      • Proposal for action
      • Dot vote
      • Hi/Lo graphs
      • Agree
  • Visual Problem Solving
    • Use frequency checklist
    • Use scatter diagrams
    • Use pareto charts
    • Use fishbone diagram
    • Use histogram
    • Use flow charts
    • Use control charts

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BookNotes: The Brain That Changes Itself

May 30, 2013 Leave a comment

If I have to come up with a top 5 books that I’ve read,  this one will be in the list.  I’m not going to ruin the surprise but when you get a chance, find a way to acquire and read this book.  Such an eye opener about almost anything related to the way we think and perceive things.

Although this is not a Christian book, the author mentioned Exodus 20:18 in the first chapter.  Good enough for my credibility check at least he reads or know what a Bible verse is.

 Exodus 20:18 – “And the saw the voices” [ During all this time, the people in the valley heard the thundering and saw the lightning on the mountain. They saw smoke rising from the mountain and heard the sound of the trumpet. They were afraid and shook with fear. They stood away from the mountain and watched.”

.Book-The Brain That Changes Itself 
Author-Norman Doidge
ISBN: 9781921753091
Chapters: 11
Pages: 448
Excerpt 
FAQ

myNotes [in progress]
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BookSummary: Full Cup

April 29, 2013 Leave a comment

Book-Full Cup Thirsty Spirit
Author-Karen Horneffer-Ginter
ISBN-978-1401939939
Pages: 224
Chapters: 6

NOTES: Full Cup: Chapter 1-Honoring Our Rhythms
NOTES: Full Cup: Chapter 2-Turning Within
NOTES: Full Cup: Chapter 3-Filling Up
NOTES: Full Cup: Chapter 4-Fully Inhabiting Our Days
NOTES: Full Cup: Chapter 5-Remembering Lightness
NOTES: Full Cup: Chapter 6-Embracing Difficulty

 

# NOTES: FULL CUP
1 We have a rhythm that moves through us [pulsating heart, breathing, mood, hunger, sleep, energy level etc]
2 Rhythms differs from  person to person
3 Rhythms involves showing up in the world and taking a break [1 and 0 or the yes or no, rest or go]
4 Rhythms involves our capacities for activity, engagement, need for rest, renewal and emptying out of debris
5 Our culture asks us to ignore these deeper rhythms
6 When the rhythms are ignored/disregarded, results are fatigue, undefined illness, tiredness, loss of motivation, loss of sense of peace
7 Begin to listen to and notice how your body and soul want you to live.
8 What are they craving most, and what are some small (and maybe not-so-small) ways you could honor this?
9 Are there places where you get stuck in the movement between engaging in the world and turning within?
10 How might you honor this movement between rest and activity, bringing forth new life and releasing what is stale? 
11 What would this honoring look like in your daily, weekly, and monthly life?
12 Experiment in this next month by making small changes and seeing which ones have the biggest impact on your well-being.
13 The Art of Slowing Down [have time]
14 Have time to exercise
15 Have time to read a book
16 Have time to cook a meal
17 Have time to  walk outside
18 Practice the lack of rushing, be a non-rusher
19 Delete the word "hurry" in your vocabulary
20 Remove the personal belief of busyness=being valuable and important
21 Have time to PAUSE! [in the middle of doing something]
22 Choose to walk slowly
23 Sit down and do nothing and think nothing
24 Be more present with yourself
25 Journey to change is complicated but it must be done
26 We chose to rush [not the external forces around us]
27 Practice downshifting very often
28 Are there beliefs you carry about the necessity of being busy that are getting in the way of slowing down? 
29 Reflect on any messages you might have picked up about busyness being associated with success or worthiness. 
30 What do you fear would happen if you slowed down?
31 Which beliefs and fears are you ready to let go of?
32 Reflect on your relationship to rushing. What changes do you want to make? 
33 Are there certain tasks or times of day that might be worth moving through at an intentionally slower pace? 
34 What would help you to shift gears even if only for an hour?
35 Experiment with the art of slowing down—find one activity each day that you can intentionally do at a slow pace. 
36 Try eating a meal slowly, or next time you drive somewhere take your time as you walk from the parking lot to the building. 
37 Take time to notice what it’s like to move at this pace. 
38 What do you notice that would have gone unseen, un-tasted, or unheard on another day?
39 Take time-outs.  Sit in a corner and do nothing or think nothing or take a nap
40 Balancing is viewed as fundamental to healing. 
41 When the body is stagnant, it needs stimulation to begin moving again
42 When it’s depleted, it needs nourishment
43 When it’s damp and cold, it needs heat 
44 When it’s hot and dry, it needs cooling moisture
45 When we’ve been extremely active, we need rest
46 When we’ve been sitting at a computer inside, we need movement outside
47 When we’ve been in our head with too much thinking, we need to reconnect with our heart and our feelings
48 When we’ve been engaged in repetitive tasks, we need inspiration
49 When we’ve been serious, we need some lightness and laughter
50 50 Ways to take a Break
51 1. Take a bath
52 2. Listen to music
53 3. Light a candle
54 4. Rest with your legs up on a wall
55 5. Take a nap
56 6. Listen to a guided relaxation
57 7. Take deep belly breaths
58 8. Let out a sigh
59 9. Turn off all electronics
60 10. Enjoy a warm beverage
61 11. Eat a meal in silence
62 12. Sit in silence
63 13. Write a journal
64 14. Go on a walk
65 15. Sit in nature
66 16. Explore a park
67 17. Go to a farmers’ market
68 18. Meander around town
69 19. Go to a body of water
70 20. Fly a kite
71 21. Watch the clouds
72 22. Watch the stars
73 23. Go for a run
74 24. Take a bike ride
75 25. Drive somewhere new
76 26. Climb a tree
77 27. Do some gentle stretches
78 28. Put on music and dance
79 29. Move twice as slowly
80 30. Notice your body
81 31. Make some music
82 32. Paint on a surface other than paper
83 33. Color with crayons:
84 34. Read or watch something funny
85 35. Read poetry
86 36. Write a quick poem
87 37. Learn something new
88 38. Take a photograph
89 39. Find a relaxing scent
90 40. Examine an everyday object with fresh eyes
91 41. Pet a furry creature
92 42. Buy flowers
93 43. Read a book
94 44. View art
95 45. Let something go
96 46. Forgive someone
97 47. Call a friend
98 48. Write a letter
99 49. Engage in a small act of kindness
100 50. Give thanks
101 When slowing down and taking breaks are not enough, the next step is to step away from life in a more significant way.
102 Unplug from daily life and deeply reconnect with self
103 Time being alone is directly proportional to busyness.  If you are too busy, the more time you need to be alone to unwind
104 Quite time is a must.
105 Set aside a day or two for a retreat
106 Unplug for a day or two from anything
107 Go inward for a day-self retreat.
108 Step away from life for a day or two
109 Create space in your life intentionally
110 Radically simplify your life
111 Don’t peek at your next task or next move, stay with the PRESENT, the "NOW"
112 Feel the event at the moment. Be fully present
113 Set aside one day each week to nourish yourself, talk to self, write a journal about self, meditate, sleep, pray.
114 Connect to what matters most
115 Nourish our spiritual being through rest and reflection produces greater balance.
116 Emotional and physical health is as important as the spiritual.
117 Basics of emotional/physical health often times neglected.
118 Self care is essential to being healthy – body, mind, spirit
119 Don’t ignore the very basics of human needs
120 If we are hungry, we take in food
121 If we are tired, we go to sleep
122 If we need to dispose waste, we go to the bathroom
123 There is a simple relationship between what the body needs and how the body responds, ignoring those needs are not being wise
124 As we become older, we tend to ignore or able to tolerate such needs [peer pressure or just merely the drive to succeed]
125 Are you a black belt in ignoring your needs?
126 When your body request downtime, do you drink coffee instead?
127 We have the mindset of work hard-play hard, do whatever it takes [with disregard to the self needs]
128 Hard work and constant busyness are somehow the main theme in our endeavor.
129 We carry certain beliefs that we don’t need to take care of our self needs/care.
130 Sometimes avoiding self-care was a response to having a mother/father who had been extremely self-absorbed and inattentive and we want to do the opposite
131 Don’t wait for your "tank" to be in EMPTY, fill it up
132 What is the MOST essential now?
133 Dimensions of Life
134 1.Body
135 2. Mind/Heart
136 3. Spirit
137 4. Social Relationship
138 5. Work/Service/Finances
139 6. Home and Family 
140 Stages of Change
141 1. Pre-contemplation (not intending to make a change)
142 2. Contemplation (intending to take action in the next six months)
143 3. Preparation (intending to take action in the next month)
144 4. Action (engaging in the new behavior)
145 5. Maintenance (sustaining the behavioral change over time)
146 Changes takes time.
147 Inhabit-Be present in; exist or be situated within
148 Act intentionally of paying attention to beauty of life/world
149 Discover objects of beauty over and over again
150 Loving-kindness can be defined as “paying attention.
151 “The way we do anything can reflect the way we do everything.”
152 Think the NOW – the present, what you are currently doing and do not wander
153 Do every task as if you are in a sacred ceremony.
154 Show up in life and pay attention
155 Sense the things around you
156 Hear the seen and the unseen
157 Do one thing at a time [strictly]
158 You cannot make soybeans into corn; you cannot make someone he’s/she’s fundamentally not.
159 Practice "Hmm … isn’t that interesting?" [get interested in small wonders around you]
160 Ex.1 I’ve got a $50 parking ticket and I have to write an appeal. Say "Hmm … isn’t that interesting?" and find a way to write an essay to avoid the fine.
161 Ex.2 My wife is mad at me. Say "Hmm … isn’t that interesting?" and find a way to win her creatively.
162 Practice
163 Ex.3 I have a heart attack. Say "Hmm … isn’t that interesting?" and find a way to survive 50 more years after.
164 Ex.4 I lost my job. Say "Hmm … isn’t that interesting?" and find a way to land a job/livelihood that pays more and more enjoyable.
165 Ex.5 Me my husband lost our love for each other. Say "Hmm … isn’t that interesting?" and look for ways to get back on track like the first month of the relationship.
166 Ex.6 I failed in my exams today. Say "Hmm … isn’t that interesting?" and find a creative way to get better.
167 Ex.7 I’ve got cancer and I have 6 months to live. Say "Hmm … isn’t that interesting?" and find out what else you have not done to make a mark to the people around you.
168 Ex.8 I’m really tired of my job and I want to change. Say "Hmm … isn’t that interesting? and think 20 years ahead and see what it will be like if you stay put.
169 Ex.10 My life has no direction and I’m stucked. Say "Hmm … isn’t that interesting? and write down a list of things in a piece of paper that you have not done or explored – then pick one and do it. 
170 Write a journal and tell something about your life.
171 Take a special photograph each day with an intention of finding beauty in it like no one else.
172 4 Questions
173 1. When did you stop singing
174 2. When did you stop dancing
175 3. When did you lose your sense of enchantment with stories, and in particular, your own life story?
176 4. When did you become uncomfortable with silence?
177 Lightness-a feeling of joy and pride
178 Seriousness-opposite of lightness [sort of]
179 Humor and lightness disappear as we mature
180 Life becomes more serious when serious things happen like illnesses or the loss of relationships, loved ones, or jobs.
181 As to-do lists increase and the balance between work and home gets more complicated, humor and fun depart
182 Find enchantment in life by making a difference in the world around us and offer a sense of meaning and fulfillment in our lives
183 Identify things that make you come alive
184 Identify things that deplete you, then avoid
185 How do you relate to difficulty?
186 Sometimes what’s behind our choice to be busy, consciously or unconsciously, is a desire to avoid feeling our pain
187 If you can’t get out of it, get into it
188 Life is filled with crossroad moments, how do you face it?
189 How do you face unpleasant emotions? 
190 Common responses: denial, becoming anxious, drinking alcohol, getting busier, blame others, self blame
191 Most human suffering is not getting what we want or getting what we don’t want.
192 The best response to unpleasant experience or emotion – get into it. [face it]
193 Don’t be running around talking about the monster in the closet.  Open the closet and see what this perceived monster really is.
194 Sometimes in life we find ourselves, cursing at situations that are empty of blame. If no one is to blame, get to the next phase – acceptance.
195 Embrace our emotions, it helps to see that often the experiences that bring us to our knees are also what allow us to grow into the fullness of who we really are.
196 Fire of painful feelings, sometimes their presence is a gift in disguise.
197 Know, Accept and Befriend Ourselves
198 All humans, at their core, want to be loved and to feel like they have something to offer
199 I want to be loved. I want to do well.
200 Human Vulnerabilities:
201 1. wanting to fit in socially
202 2. wanting to have love reciprocated
203 3. wanting to be appreciated by family
204 4. wanting to be acknowledged at work
205 5. wanting intimacy
206 6. wanting to be accepted, 
207 7. wanting to feel pretty enough
208 8. wanting to feel capable of tackling the demands of daily life, of overcoming fears, or of feeling strong enough to continue functioning in the face of depression or illness.
209 It’s okay to be humbled. It’s okay not to be all that we are expected
210 Allow yourself to amused at not winning or being proven wrong or being made fool of
211 Remember to use kindness in times of difficulties
212 How can I deal with the enormous fear and anger that I feel about what happened? ANSWER: Do one kind thing for someone every day.
213 Allow bad experiences to act as an inner fertilizer that can strengthen our capacity to open our hearts to ourselves and to those around us.
214 Think of self-compassion during a time of distress but use kindness to others as a method of delivery
215 The secret of happiness: Find something more important than you are and dedicate your life to it

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BookSummary: Wisdom

April 20, 2013 Leave a comment

Book-Wisdom
Author-Myles Munroe
ISBN-978-0768432282
Pages: 268
Chapters: 40

Wisdom: Introduction
Wisdom: Chapter 1-Wisdom for Everyday Victory
Wisdom: Chapter 2-Wisdom During Crisis
Wisdom: Chapter 3-Wisdom Versus Greed
Wisdom: Chapter 4-Wisdom and Opportunity
Wisdom: Chapter 5-Wisdom of Management
Wisdom: Chapter 6-Wisdom and Faith
Wisdom: Chapter 7-Wisdom of Change
Wisdom-Chapter 8-Wisdom Seeds
Wisdom: Chapter 9-Wisdom Working
Wisdom: Chapter 10-Wisdom in Serving
Wisdom: Chapter 11-Wisdom’s Secret
Wisdom: Chapter 12-Wisdom Focus
Wisdom: Chapter 13-Wisdom to Prioritize
Wisdom: Chapter 14-Wisdom and Obedience
Wisdom: Chapter 15-Wisdom, Righteousness, Generosity
Wisdom: Chapter 16-Wisdom and God’s Big Idea
Wisdom: Chapter 17-Wisdom of Ideas
Wisdom: Chapter 18-Wisdom and Master Gardener
Wisdom: Chapter 19-Wisdom Through Temptation
Wisdom: Chapter 20-Wisdom in the Kingdom of Heaven
Wisdom: Chapter 21-Wisdom’s Influence
Wisdom: Chapter 22-Wisdom Against Rebellion
Wisdom: Chapter 23-Wisdom and Jesus
Wisdom: Chapter 24-Wisdom, Religion, Government
Wisdom: Chapter 25-Wisdom of Democracy
Wisdom: Chapter 26-Wisdom and Purpose
Wisdom: Chapter 27-Wisdom and Potential
Wisdom: Chapter 28-Wisdoms Death
Wisdom: Chapter 29-Wisdom Abhors Abortion
Wisdom: Chapter 30-Wisdom From The Beginning
Wisdom: Chapter 31-Wisdom and Your Body
Wisdom: Chapter 32-Wisdom Over Fear and Anxiety
Wisdom: Chapter 33-Wisdom of Marriage
Wisdom: Chapter 34-Wisdom and Baggage 
Wisdom: Chapter 35-Wisdom in Intimacy
Wisdom: Chapter 36-Wisdom of Not Settling
Wisdom: Chapter 37-Wisdom of Not Being Normal
Wisdom: Chapter 38-Wisdom of Living Beyond; The Source
Wisdom: Chapter 39-Wisdom’s Treasures
Wisdom: Chapter 40-Wisdom to Become; Not The END

 

# WISDOM NOTES
1 Are you expecting the unexpected and preparing for the unforeseen?
2 Do you possess the necessary mental, emotional, psychological, and spiritual tools to successfully and effectively weather seasons of turmoil?
3 Always remember: the Kingdom of God is never in crisis.
4 God knows what to do—He cares for you.
5 God has never failed His people.
6 Are you sure that you are one of His people?
7 What crisis are you facing today?
8 Are you facing your crisis alone or with God?
9 You cannot control the crisis that has come upon you suddenly, but you can take control of some of the details.
10 Get a grip on how to overcome your circumstances.
11 Regain your emotional footing to overcome a crisis.
12 Put your feet on the Rock-solid foundation of God.
13 Evils travel together because all of them originate in the sinful hearts of human beings.
14 Do not let your financial uncertainty make you do something rash and foolish.
15 Do not do something dishonest.
16 Do not go the way of the world.
17 Do not worry about yourself.
18 Put your trust in God and ask Him what to do.
19 The seeming defeat inherent in every crisis holds the keys to an unanticipated victory.
20 Believe that your crisis becomes your best opportunity.
21 Remember, you are not under the world’s system.
22 Instead of worrying, rejoice.
23 Do not throw away your confidence.
24 God, who began a good work in you, will finish it.
25 God created people in His own image to manage the earth.
26 When you follow the Master Plan, you will flourish.
27 When you mismanage, you lose.
28 The principle is honesty.
29 Proper management is the correct use of something.
30 Proper management is timely use of another person’s property.
31 Figure out what your resources are, and then use them wisely.
32 The resources we need come to us in the natural course of living our lives according to God’s design and intention.
33 Kingdom of God benefits come to us as we seek the Kingdom.
34 The provisions and resources that we need are by-products of our faith.
35 Kingdom-dwellers have faith.
36 True Kingdom people treat their faith as a relationship with an invisible King.
37 Your King has made blessings accessible to all who have eyes to see and ears to hear.
38 God is the same yesterday, today, and forever (see Heb. 13:8).
39 God is in charge of all changes.
40 It does not matter what is happening because it will not last.
41 There will be an end to every crisis.
42 Everything is seasonal, times of plenty and times of poverty.
43 Are you open to change?
44 God does not make mistakes.
45 Do not be surprised when God’s answer is in the form of harvest-producing seed.
46 Out of the midst of the fire, God purifies you.
47 Find God’s seed for you. Plant it. Nurture it to maturity.
48 Your seed will multiply greatly.
49 Your job is what you were trained to do. Your work is different.
50 Your work is what you were born to do.
51 No kind of educational system can teach you your true work because it is your life purpose
52 Your work [life purpose/God-given assingment] is revealed by your God-given gifts.
53 You are much more than your job.
54 If you can find yourself, you will gain a new perspective on what you were created to do on this earth.
55 The King created you, and the King called you.
56 You were created to contribute to the great bringing-in of the Kingdom of God.
57 He gave you special gifts that match with His purpose for your life.
58 He wants you to discover that purpose so that you can fulfill it.
59 No employer on earth can take away your work. 
60 Fulfilling your God-given purpose can happen wherever you go.
61 God likes to move people around. He makes sure that He has representatives in many places
62 Your work is ongoing throughout your life on this planet.
63 Your job is only your career. It is temporary. You can lose it.
64 Your whole career can collapse. You can also have more than one career in your lifetime. 
65 Your work is your life assignment. You cannot lose that.
66 You were created to serve the world around you with Kingdom compassion and Kingdom energy.
67 If people are always asking you for help, you must be reflecting the character of your King.
68 If you shoulder your share of the work without murmuring or complaining, then you have probably already been deployed in the service of the King.
69 God’s Kingdom designates every single citizen as a king in his or her own right.
70 You work your way up the Kingdom management ladder by working your way down in lowly service.
71 You are a king who serves the world with your God-given gifts
72 “What is the key to life?”
73 Is love the key?
74 Is life just an accident?
75 Is your existence a kind of “living death”?
76 Finding your true purpose and living it is the key to life.
77 The greatest tragedy in life is not death, but life without purpose.
78 Do you long for a focused, purposeful, organized life and simplified lifestyle?
79 Do you have a problem putting first things first?
80 Are you drifting through life with no focus or sense of purpose or direction?
81 Do you shoot off in too many directions trying to do too many things?
82 Are you focused on the wrong thing?
83 What can you do today to better prioritize your life?
84 If you don’t know where you are going, any road will take you there.
85 Life is daily and constantly demanding of our time, energy, talent, attention, and focus.
86 You must know what your priorities are.
87 The absence of priority is dangerous and detrimental.
88 If you’re not doing the right thing at the right time, you are doing the wrong thing at the wrong time.
89 Prioritizing sharpens your vision so you can focus on the most important things.
90 The key to maintaining right standing is obedience.
91 Your pursuit of righteousness places you in the right positioning to receive all the rights, resources, blessings, and privileges of the Kingdom.
92 It’s very simple: you obey, God opens; you disobey, He closes.
93 Sin interrupts your communication with God and shuts down the flow of His resources to you.
94 If your mind is pure, you will see God in everything and in everyone.
95 Righteousness bears abundant fruit in your life.
96 Generosity is a character trait of the righteous.
97 God never forsakes the righteous or their children—He always provides for them.
98 Righteous living will bear the fruit in your life of an inheritance you can leave to your descendents.
99 The only true material wealth of any lasting value, particularly as an inheritance to pass on, is real estate.
100 Not only will the righteous inherit land to dwell in forever, but that land will be covered with peace and security.
101 The world is ruled by dead men.
102 Our planet spins under the power of ideas.
103 The big idea is the ideology that served as the foundation of the first and original government instituted on Earth.
104 The big idea is the divine aspiration, celestial vision, and eternal purpose of the Creator for His creation and humanity on planet Earth.
105 The big idea is the concept of the ultimate governing program for mankind on Earth that provides for all the fundamental needs of humanity and produces a culture that integrates all the noble aspirations of all mankind, such as equality, justice, peace, love, unity, and respect for human dignity, human value, and personal and corporate empowerment.
106 Death can never kill an idea.
107 Ideas are more powerful than death.
108 Ideas outlive men and can never be destroyed.
109 Everything began as an idea and is the result of the conception of an idea.
110 The most difficult thing to fight against is an idea!
111 Ideas can be transferred and live on for generations.
112 God is the Master Gardener who ensures that the gardens of our lives produce good fruit.
113 Whoever tends your garden determines your culture, values, beliefs, and behavior.
114 Has the devil taken up residence in you?
115 You were created to be filled with the Spirit of God and live in perfect harmony and fellowship with Him.
116 You have a choice as to who you allow to tend your garden.
117 Are you a holy sissy?
118 Are you afraid of the devil?
119 Temptation is a fact of life.
120 Satan tempts with the intent to destroy.
121 If you occupy and stand firm during temptations, a rich reward lies in store for you.
122 Your King will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you can bear.
123 Whatever temptations you do face, you can bear, as long as you do so in His strength rather than your own.
124 The Kingdom of Heaven is not a religion and has nothing at all to do with religion.
125 The Kingdom of Heaven is the sovereign rulership of the King (God) over a territory (Earth).
126 The Kingdom of Heaven is a real, literal country, although invisible to physical eyes because it is spiritual in nature.
127 The most powerful expression of any nation is its culture. A strong and rich culture can wield an influence far beyond its geographical boundaries.
128 Are you spreading the culture of the Kingdom of Heaven?
129 There are two kinds of influence: the influence of the moment and lasting influence.
130 Kingdom influence operates gradually, based on eternal, unchanging principles of God and according to a timetable that encompasses millennia.
131 The influence of God’s Kingdom is irresistible.
132 Christ is the King of an eternal, all-powerful, all-knowing, present-everywhere Kingdom.
133 Yeast is one of the most powerful influencing agents in the world.
134 Are you influencing others for the Kingdom of God?
135 Rebellion against God is called sin.
136 Sin is the singular act of rebellion, while sins are the manifestations of that one act.
137 Adam and Eve could have freely chosen to obey God rather than disobey Him.
138 Jesus Christ came to Earth to put an end to our sin of rebellion through His blood.
139 Christ came as a “second Adam” to reverse the consequences of the first Adam’s failure.
140 Christ came to announce the return of the Kingdom of Heaven and to give us access through the sin-cleansing power of His blood.
141 Everything Jesus said and did—His prayers, teachings, healings, and miracles—was focused on a kingdom, not a religion.
142 Have you had to come to grips with your own personal defects to understand Jesus and His message?
143 The original intent of God’s mandate to Moses was not to establish a religion, but a nation of people who would love, serve, and honor God.
144 Do you understand Jesus?
145 Have you reduced His message to nothing more than an escapist plan for getting to Heaven and His promises as a mere fire insurance policy for escaping the pains of a tormenting hell?
146 Religion is one of the greatest obstacles to the Kingdom.
147 Few pastors have any formal instruction at all in any Kingdom concept.
148 Humankind’s greatest challenge has been to learn how to live in peace.
149 The need for government and order is inherent in the human spirit and is a manifestation of a divine mandate.
150 Man was created to be a governor and ruler.
151 It is in man’s nature to seek some authority mechanism that brings order to his private and social world.
152 Democracy is the best form of civil government as we know it.
153 Democracy is built on the premise and principle of “majority rule” and the protection of individual rights.
154 From the Creator’s perspective, life is politics, and He is the essence of life.
155 In Him there is no distinction between government and spirituality.
156 We all are political and religious.
157 Democracy can succeed only where there is a clear accountability to a moral code.
158 The big picture means to see the end from the beginning throughout the creative process.
159 A good artist already sees the end result in his mind.
160 Purpose defines the big picture.
161 What was God’s purpose as the Artist who created humanity?
162 Without purpose, human life has no meaning or significance.
163 Can you see the big picture?
164 Your life has the potential to fulfill your purpose.
165 If you imprison that potential, you rob your life of its purposeand fulfillment.
166 You possess an awesome treasure.
167 Your valuable deposit of potential was given to enrich the lives of others.
168 You have the ability to change your attitude and your internal environment until they are conducive to the germination of your potential seed.
169 You owe it to the next generation to live courageously so the treasure of your potential is unleashed.
170 Continuous effort—not strength or intelligence—is the key to unlocking our potential.
171 Don’t allow the grave to rob this world of your latent, awesome potential.
172 Deep within you lies a seed of greatness waiting to be germinated.
173 You have been endued with natural talents, gifts, desires, and dreams.
174 Hidden within everything is the potential to fulfill itself and produce much more than you see.
175 You have the ability to accomplish everything your God-given purpose demands.
176 The releasing of your potential is not up to God but you.
177 Abortion is the ignorance of responsibility and the denial of obligation.
178 Abortion is self-comfort at the expense of fruitfulness.
179 The abortion of potential is the death of the future.
180 Abortion is the ignorance and the lack of understanding of the principle of potential that pervades our world.
181 All creation was affected by man’s sin.
182 What are your thoughts about abortion?
183 Most of the potential God gave you at birth still remains within you, unseen and unused.
184 On any given day, you are not all you can be.
185 God can always do more than He has already done.
186 Everything came forth when God spoke it into a material substance, in accordance with His master plan.
187 What steps can you take to begin realizing your potential?
188 Can you see yourself in God’s master plan?
189 Jesus promised that He would return to redeem your body.
190 God intended your body to live forever.
191 God’s making you a new home.
192 God’s in the business of giving you a new body.
193 Don’t worry if your body isn’t all you’d like it to be.
194 You are much more than your imperfect, deteriorating body.
195 Fear and anxiety shadow our lives.
196 God is well acquainted with the insanity of your world.
197 God offers Himself as the solution to your problems.
198 God will not force you to accept the new environment He offers.
199 God waits for you to come to your senses and admit your sin and your need of His forgiveness.
200 Are you immersing yourself in God’s commandments?
201 Marriage is a companionship covenant.
202 Procreation is a function of marriage, but it is not the main focus.
203 The social and moral requirement of being married before having children is still very strong in many, many places.
204 Most people are still sensitive to the respectability of marriage.
205 Married couples who take their responsibilities seriously are careful not to conceive and give birth to more children than they can adequately love and care for.
206 True family planning is mature, responsible stewardship.
207 Marriage is the beautiful accommodation of another lifetime.
208 Building a strong marriage takes time, patience, and hard work.
209 Difference of viewpoint is one of the biggest sources of stress and conflict in young marriages.
210 Adjusting to these differences is critical to marital survival.
211 No one enters marriage “clean.”
212 Fusion creates oneness.
213 A husband and wife should know each other better than they know anyone else in the world.
214 A husband and wife should know everything about each other, even those undesirable traits that they hide from everyone else.
215 Relationship does not guarantee knowledge.
216 Labels that imply closeness and intimate knowledge may in reality hinder true relationship building.
217 Marriage is a lifelong journey into intimacy, but also into friendship.
218 As your relationship develops, you should grow into true friends and love and accept each other.
219 Have you fully utilized your abilities, talents, and gifts?
220 Have you settled for the norm?
221 Have you done your best?
222 Have you allowed others to place limitations on your potential?
223 Have you created self-imposed limitations?
224 You determine the degree to which your destiny is accomplished.
225 Have you resigned yourself to a normal life?
226 Your Creator never intended you to be normal.
227 God created you as an original.
228 Are you so preoccupied with trying to fit in that you neverstand out?
229 You were designed to be distinctive, special, irreplaceable, and unique.
230 Be satisfied with nothing less than your best.
231 Great minds and souls never settle for great work.
232 All individuals throughout history who have left their footprints in the sands of destiny were driven by a passion greater than the desire for personal comfort.
233 Retirement is a great myth that traps untapped potential.
234 Retirement is never a concept in the minds of world changers.
235 The enemy of better is best, and the tomb of the extra-ordinary is the ordinary.
236 Your responsibility is to maximize life to its fullest potential
237 All the great things God has put inside you—your visions, dreams, plans, and talents—are satan’s targets.
238 He is afraid of people like you who have faith in God’s wisdom and power.
239 The deceiver fears the treasure you possess.
240 Only as you are “strong in the Lord and in His mighty power” (Eph. 6:10) can you withstand satan’s onslaught against you.
241 The Holy Spirit, sent by Jesus when you received Him as Savior, is your Helper.
242 Understand the provisions of God’s plan and put them into practice to defend your potential.
243 Commit yourself to the goal of dying empty.
244 Discover what you were born to be, then do it.
245 Fulfill your own personal purpose for the glory of God.
246 Don’t rob the next generation of your contribution to the destiny of mankind.
247 Time is God’s gift for accomplishing your purpose and fulfilling your potential.
248 Will you waste or use wisely the days God has assigned to your life?

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Book Summary: Mindset

March 29, 2013 Leave a comment

Book-Mindset: The New Psychology of Success
Author-Carol Dweck
ISBN-9780345472328
Pages: 449 [pdf]
Chapters: 8

Chapter 1-The Mindsets
Chapter 2-Inside the Mindsets
Chapter 3-The Truth about ability and accomplishments
Chapter 4-Sports:The Mindset of a Champion
Chapter 5-Business Mindset and Leadership
Chapter 6-Relationships: Mindsets in Love (or Not)
Chapter 7-Parents, Teachers and Coaches
Chapter 8-Changing Mindsets

NOTES/REFERENCES:
What is Mindset?
Mindset Diagram
Understanding Mindset
More Dweck’s Articles

# NOTES
1 Fixed Mindset leads to a desire to look smart
2 Fixed Mindset avoid Challenges
3 Fixed Mindset give up easily
4 Fixed Mindset see effort as fruitless or worse
5 Fixed Mindset ignore useful negative feedback
6 Fixed Mindset feel threatened by the success of others
7 Fixed Mindset RESULT: plateau early and achieve less than their full potential
8 Fixed mindset believing that your qualities are carved in stone
9 Fixed mindset believing your personal traits are fixed
10 Fixed mindset creates an urgency to prove yourself over and over
11 Fixed mindset focus on permanent traits
12 Fixed mindset fear challenges
13 Fixed mindset devalue effort
14 Fixed mindset produces non-learners, they already know it [no need to learn]
15 Fixed mindset only interested when the feedback reflected on their ability
16 Fixed mindset put people on a pedestal
17 Fixed mindset make people feel perfect
18 Fixed mindset worship people
19 Fixed mindset fixed qualities
20 Fixed mindset it’s not enough just to succeed.
21 Fixed mindset it’s not enough just to look smart and talented.
22 Fixed mindset you have to be pretty much flawless
23 Fixed mindset you have to be flawless right away
24 Fixed mindset measure the fixed ability right now and project it into the future
25 Fixed mindset must succeed perfectly and immediately
26 Fixed mindset always proving that they are special and superior
27 Fixed mindset believe that talent is ALL
28 Fixed mindset the loss of one’s self to failure can be a permanent, haunting trauma.
29 Fixed mindset my Success Is Your Failure
30 Fixed mindset try to repair their self-esteem after a failure is by assigning blame or making excuses
31 Fixed mindset higher levels of depression
32 Fixed mindset effort is only for people with deficiencies.
33 Fixed mindset when failure: “I could have been [fill in the blank].”
34 Fixed mindset proving superiority over and over [on anything]
35 Fixed mindset easily discouraged
36 Fixed mindset will quit in a heartbeat
37 Fixed mindset will skip learning when feeling that there is room for failure
38 Fixed mindset everything is about outcome
39 Fixed mindset low effort and always looking for easy task
40 Fixed mindset prefer effortless success
41 Fixed mindset always putting their talent in display
42 Fixed mindset intolerant of mistakes
43 Fixed mindset less confident person
44 Fixed mindset early performance tells you all you need to know about their talent and their future.
45 Fixed mindset imperfections are shameful
46 Fixed mindset criticism: view as a threat, an insult or an attack
47 Fixed mindset setbacks: a total failure
48 Fixed mindset does not cope well with adversities
49 Fixed mindset does not need a team
50 Fixed mindset delivers blame and excuses during failure
51 Fixed mindset full of bitterness
52 Fixed mindset always thinking of being brilliant
53 Fixed mindset felt judged and labeled by the rejection
54 Fixed mindset rejection is like the end of the world
55 Fixed mindset when rejection happens: REVENGE is the #1 priority
56 Fixed mindset believe that your qualities are fixed
57 Fixed mindset believe your partner’s qualities are fixed
58 Fixed mindset believe that relationship’s qualities are fixed—inherently good or bad, meant-to-be or not
59 Fixed mindset meant-to-be.
60 Fixed mindset the ideal is instant, perfect, and perpetual compatibility. Like it was meant to be
61 Fixed mindset a mind reader-always reading partner/spouse mind and making assumptions
62 Fixed mindset believe that a couple should share all of each other’s views
63 Fixed mindset assume entitlement-hey I deserve this…
64 Fixed mindset assign blame to a failing relationship ie. character flaw
65 Fixed mindset blame self or partner when relationship go sour
66 Fixed mindset always defending self
67 Fixed mindset shy type
68 Fixed mindset lack social skills
69 Fixed mindset avoid meeting new friends
70 Fixed mindset does not like to let their guard down
71 Fixed mindset cannot let go of fear of failure or rejection
72 Fixed mindset I have a certain amount of intelligence, and I can’t really do much to change it.”I feel like a reject”
73 Fixed mindset “I’d feel like a reject”
74 Fixed mindset “I’m a total failure”
75 Fixed mindset “I’m an idiot”
76 Fixed mindset “I’m a loser”
77 Fixed mindset “I’d feel worthless and dumb—everyone’s better than me”
78 Fixed mindset “My life is pitiful.”
79 Fixed mindset “I have no life.”
80 Fixed mindset “Somebody upstairs doesn’t like me.”
81 Fixed mindset “The world is out to get me.”
82 Fixed mindset “Someone is out to destroy me.”
83 Fixed mindset “Nobody loves me, everybody hates me.”
84 Fixed mindset “Life is unfair and all efforts are useless.”
85 Fixed mindset “Life stinks. I’m stupid. Nothing good ever happens to me.”
86 Fixed mindset “I’m the most unlucky person on this earth.”
87 Fixed mindset “Do nothing.”
88 Fixed mindset “Stay in bed.”
89 Fixed mindset “Get drunk.”
90 Fixed mindset “Eat.”
91 Fixed mindset “Yell at someone if I get a chance to.”
92 Fixed mindset “Eat chocolate.”
93 Fixed mindset “Listen to music and pout.”
94 Fixed mindset “Go into my closet and sit there.”
95 Fixed mindset “Pick a fight with somebody.”
96 Fixed mindset “Cry.”
97 Fixed mindset “Break something.”
98 Fixed mindset “What is there to do?”
99 Fixed mindset “If you have to work at something, you must not be good at it.”
100 Fixed mindset “Things come easily to people who are true geniuses.”
101 Fixed mindset “People have a certain fixed amount of management ability
102 Fixed mindset and they cannot do much to change it.”
103 Fixed mindset  I’m unlovable
104 Fixed mindset “If I had to choose between me being happy and him being miserable, I would definitely want him to be
105 Fixed mindset miserable.”
106 Fixed mindset “As a husband/wife, I have a right to—’ and my husband/wife has the duty to—.”
107 Fixed mindset ‘I’m not going to wash the dishes, no way. That’s a woman’s job.’
108 Fixed mindset the man/woman I loved was a bad person
109 Fixed mindset he/she was a bad person and drove him/her awayrelationship was bad and irreparable”
110 Fixed mindset my partner is incapable of change
111 Fixed mindset Nothing can improve our relationship
112 Fixed mindset “I am a football player, and therefore I’m better than you.”
113 Fixed mindset “I am a basketball player … pathetic geeks like you are not on my level.”
114 Fixed mindset You have permanent traits and I’m judging them
115 Growth mindset believe that anyone can be anything
116 Growth mindset believe that a person’s true potential is unknown (and unknowable);
117 Growth mindset based on the belief that your basic qualities are things you can cultivate through your efforts
118 Growth mindset believe that you can learn anything and new things as they come
119 Growth mindset believe they are learners
120 Growth mindset paid close attention to information that could stretch their knowledge. Only for them was learning a priority
121 Growth mindset see people’s faults and help them to work on them.
122 Growth mindset challenge people to become a better person.
123 Growth mindset encourage them to learn new things.
124 Growth mindset effort is the key to success
125 Growth mindset success is about being your best self, not about being better than others
126 Growth mindset learn from failure
127 Growth mindset will not quit easily
128 Growth mindset will take the challenge
129 Growth mindset will comeback another day and fight
130 Growth mindset not easily discourage
131 Growth mindset continue their effort even if progress is not visible
132 Growth mindset eagerness to learn and advance despite repeated failure
133 Growth mindset passionate of what they do
134 Growth mindset outcome of effort is not the ultimate goal, the journey is more important
135 Growth mindset value what they’re doing regardless of the outcome.
136 Growth mindset hard effort and always looking for a difficult task
137 Growth mindset humble about their talent
138 Growth mindset love mistakes, it is vehicle for learning
139 Growth mindset a confident person, nothing to prove
140 Growth mindset early performance is not an indicator of great success
141 Growth mindset imperfections is a source of motivation
142 Growth mindset criticism: comments are helpful, a positive feedback
143 Growth mindset setbacks: motivating and stimulating and encouraging
144 Growth mindset during failure: i will double my effort
145 Growth mindset loves adversities, it is a room for growth
146 Growth mindset loves team environment
147 Growth mindset delivers encouragement to the team when there is failure
148 Growth mindset full of gratitude
149 Growth mindset always thinking of growth and passion
150 Growth mindset rejection does not define the future but a stepping stone for change
151 Growth mindset accepts rejection wholeheartedly
152 Growth mindset when rejection happens: accepts the facts and move on [not dwelling too long]
153 Growth mindset things can be developed
154 Growth mindset all—you, your partner, and the relationship—are capable of growth and change
155 Growth mindset confront a bad situation and look for resolution
156 Growth mindset so forgiving and give partner a room to grow/change
157 Growth mindset being patient while in a bad/difficult relationsh
158 Growth mindset “I’d start thinking about studying harder”
159 Growth mindset “I’d look at what was wrong on my exam, resolve to do better”
160 Growth mindset “People can always substantially change their basic skills for managing other people.”
161 Growth mindset You are a developing person and I am interested in your development
162 Growth mindset “I did not win the tournament and will try a different strategy next time”
163 Growth mindset ”I’m diagnosed with a life ending illness, I will spend the rest of my remaining days the best I can”
164 Growth mindset ”I will cry but I will find ways to change things”
165 Growth mindset ”I will not succumb to self destructive actions when I fail”
166 Growth mindset ”I will force myself to get up every morning and start a motivating day even if I do not feel doing it”
167 Growth mindset ”I will not use eating/overeating as a way of escape of my situation”
168 Growth mindset ”I will not go to my closet and sit there all day and ponder about my failures”
169 Growth mindset ”I will look for another job instead of finding blame why I was let go”
170 Growth mindset ”I will not break things to show that I am really upset”
171 Growth mindset ”I will refuse to pick a fight with anybody”
172 Growth mindset ”I will not be paralyzed by my misfortune, I will do something positive to regain my status”
173 Growth mindset ”My depression is holding me back in life, but I will find ways to help myself”
174 Growth mindset ”My partner’s love is gone, I will give him/her time to ponder about the relationship”
175 Growth mindset ”I will not give up in a relationship easily”
176 Growth mindset ”I received a traffic violation, I will make sure I learned my mistakes and not repeat it”
177 Growth mindset ”My friend did  not treat me well, I will understand and find reasons why and I will not judge him/her”
178 Growth mindset ”I will not label someone if I am mistreated”
179 Growth mindset ”I will not use mind-reading in a relationship, I will ask about his/her actions”
180 Growth mindset ”I will confront any challenges that comes to life and not run away from it”
181 Growth mindset ”I will always focus on my development everyday to make myself better in life”
182 Growth mindset ”I don’t have a skill to write but I will try writing anyway”
183 Growth mindset ”I can’t run long distance but I will start training no matter what”
184 Growth mindset ”Co workers and friends are a resource for learning and not competition”
185 Growth mindset ”I will stretch my thinking and patience if I am in a bad situation”
186 Growth mindset ”I am not a very smart person but I will study harder and read more”
187 Growth mindset ”I will double up my effort”
188 Growth mindset ”I will show my failures to others so that they too can learn”
189 Growth mindset ”I will encourage my partner to become a better person”
190 Growth mindset ”I will take remedial courses to keep up”
191 Growth mindset ”I will do it even if it is impossible”
192 Growth mindset ”I will keep going in my endeavor even if I can see the finish line”
193 Growth mindset ”I will force myself to read books even if I don’t like to read”
194 Growth mindset ”I will listen to others when they me things or lessons”
195 Growth mindset ”I will not aim for perfection but I will aim to closer-perfection”
196 Growth mindset ”I will do something that I could not do before”
197 Growth mindset ”I have OCD but I will find ways why this gift is given to me”
198 Growth mindset ”I am diagnosed bipolar but I will find ways to harness the power of this disorder”
199 Growth mindset ”I am special/different but I will find ways to cultivate my gifts”
200 Growth mindset ”My illness will not put me or my mind in a box, I will find ways to make it serve me or others”
201 Growth mindset ”I am unhappy but I will try to overcome my unhappiness in whatever way possible”
202 Growth mindset ”I will take some big risk”
203 Growth mindset ”I am not afraid of failure”
204 Growth mindset ”My boss told me that I am not good enough, I will find ways to show him/her  that he/she is wrong”
205 Growth mindset ”I don’t know the direction of my life, I will ask people, or read or research and study my skills and strengths”
206 Growth mindset ”I will not live to convince or prove to people that  I am good or the best, I am satisfied with what I have”
207 Growth mindset ”I will not compete with others”
208 Growth mindset ”I will not compare my life with others”
209 Growth mindset ”I will not criticize others, I will give rooms to their imperfections”
210 Growth mindset ”I will not complain on any difficult situation, I will accept any misfortune and hardship and then find ways to get out from it”
211 Growth mindset ”I will think of life as a journey”
212 Growth mindset ”I am not the best, but I will find ways to be the best in some ways”
213 Growth mindset ”I will pick a thing that I love to do and stay at it no matter what”
214 Growth mindset ”I will continue in my pursuit on something even if I’m surrounded by naysayers”
215 Growth mindset ”The door is closed for me, I will looks for another open door”
216 Growth mindset ”Someone took my water well, I will dig another water well somewhere”

PARENTING MINDSET
Parent: “You learned that so quickly! You’re so smart!”
Child: If I don’t learn something quickly, I’m not smart.

Parent: “Look at that drawing. Martha, is he the next Picasso or what?”
Child: I shouldn’t try drawing anything hard or they’ll see I’m no Picasso.

Parent: “You’re so brilliant, you got an A without even studying!”
Child: I’d better quit studying or they won’t think I’m
brilliant.

ALTERNATIVE TO PRAISING WHEN A CHILD IS DOING GREAT
“You really studied for your test and your improvement shows it. You read the material over
several times, you outlined it, and you tested yourself on it. It really worked!”

“I like the way you tried all kinds of strategies on that math problem until you finally got it. You thought of a lot of different ways to do it and found the one that worked!”

“I like that you took on that challenging project for your science class. It will take a lot of work—doing
the research, designing the apparatus, buying the parts, and building it. Boy, you’re going to learn a lot
of great things.”

“I know school used to be easy for you and you used to feel like the smart kid all the time. But the truth is
that you weren’t using your brain to the fullest. I’m really excited about how you’re stretching yourself
now and working to learn hard things.”

“That homework was so long and involved. I really admire the way you concentrated and finished it.”

“That picture has so many beautiful colors. Tell me about them.”

“You put so much thought into this essay. It really makes me understand Shakespeare in a new way.”

“The passion you put into that piano piece gives me a real feeling of joy. How do you feel when you play it?”

WHEN A CHILD FAILED OR STRUGGLING
“I liked the effort you put in, but let’s work together some more and figure out what it is you don’t
understand.”

“We all have different learning curves. It may take more time for you to catch on to this and be
comfortable with this material, but if you keep at it like this you will.”

“Everyone learns in a different way. Let’s keep trying to find the way that works for you.”

NOTE TO PARENTS:
Parents think they can hand children permanent confidence—like a gift—by praising their brains and
talent. It doesn’t work, and in fact has the opposite effect. It makes children doubt themselves as soon as
anything is hard or anything goes wrong. If parents want to give their children a gift, the best thing they
can do is to teach their children to love challenges, be intrigued by mistakes, enjoy effort, and
keep on learning. That way, their children don’t have to be slaves of praise

Every word and action from parent to child sends a message. Tomorrow, listen to what you
say to your kids and tune in to the messages you’re sending. Are they messages that say:
You have permanent traits and I’m judging them? Or are they messages that say You’re a
developing person and I’m interested in your development?

How do you use praise? Remember that praising children’s intelligence or talent,
tempting as it is, sends a fixed-mindset message. It makes their confidence and
motivation more fragile. Instead, try to focus on the processes they used—their strategies,
effort, or choices. Practice working the process  praise into your interactions with your
children.

Watch and listen to yourself carefully when your child messes up. Remember that
constructive criticism is feedback that helps the child understand how to fix something. It’s
not feedback that labels or simply excuses the child. At the end of each day, write down the
constructive criticism (and the process praise) you’ve given your kids.

Parents often set goals their children can work toward. Remember that having innate talent is
not a goal. Expanding skills and knowledge is. Pay careful attention to the goals you set for your children.

If you’re a teacher, remember that lowering standards doesn’t raise students’ self-esteem.
But neither does raising standards without giving students ways of reaching them. The
growth mindset gives you a way to set high standards and have students reach them. Try
presenting topics in a growth framework and giving students process feedback. I think you’ll
like what happens.

Do you think of your slower students as kids who will never be able to learn well? Do they
think of themselves as permanently dumb? Instead, try to figure out what they don’t
understand and what learning strategies they don’t have. Remember that great teachers
believe in the growth of talent and intellect,

NASA’s Strategies of Selecting Candidates
-they rejected people with pure histories of success  and instead selected people who had had significant failures and bounced back from them

Yesterday, my wife told me that my 17 years old son scored >1900 on his first SAT test and his preparation are the following:
1. Watching MariaS, Novak and Rafael at Tennis Channel
2. Watching Minecraft in YouTube
3. Playing video Games ie. Minecraft and something else
4. The Book-Cracking The SAT 2013
5. Playing Tennis

I don’t exactly know how my son’s study habits are but based on my perception, he did not crank up to the maximum effort he can ever unleash on the SAT preparation.  I am motivated to write a summary of this book because I know that he is a perfect candidate of a would-be fixed mindset person. 

To Brent,
Please find time to process the contents of this book.  I told you to read it but you refuse.  Here’s the summary instead.

Dad

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BookSummary: How To Win Friends and Influence People

January 24, 2013 Leave a comment

BECOME A FRIENDLIER PERSON
1. Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.
2. Give honest, sincere appreciation.
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.
4. Become genuinely interested in other people.
5. Smile.
6.  Remember that a person’s name is to that person the most important sound in any language.
7.  Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
8.  Talk in terms of the other person’s interest.
9.  Make the other person feel important – and do so sincerely.
10 The only way to get the best of an argument is to
     avoid it.

WIN PEOPLE TO YOUR WAY OF THINKING
11.  Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, "You’re wrong."
12.  If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
13.  Begin in a friendly way.
14.  Get the other person saying, "Yes, yes" immediately.
15.  Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
16.  Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
17.  Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
18.  Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
19.  Appeal to the nobler motives.
20.  Dramatize your ideas.

BE A LEADER
21.  Throw down a challenge.
22.  Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
23.  Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
24.  Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
25.  Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
26.  Let the other person save face.
27.  Praise the slightest and every improvement. Be "lavish in your praise."
28.  Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
29.  Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
30.  Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest

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Book Summary: The Journey-By Billy Graham

November 24, 2012 Leave a comment

Book-The Journey – How To Live By Faith In An Uncertain Word
Author-Billy Graham
ISBN-10: 0849918871
Pages: 320
Chapters: 30

.pdf summary

image

Read Online
Chapter 1- Welcome to the Journey-The Journey Begins; Day842
Chapter 2–The Great Designer; Day843
Chapter 3–The Great Design; Day844; Dream-Suore
Chapter 4-What Went Wrong; Day845
Chapter 5-Can We Start Over; Day846
Chapter 6-A New Beginning; Day847
Chapter 7-Can We Be Sure; Day848
Chapter 8-Heading in the Right Direction; Day849
Chapter 9-Preparing for the Long Haul; Day850
Chapter 10-The Unending Battle; Day851
Chapter 11-Our Unfailing Guide; Day852
Chapter 12-Keeping in Contact; Day853
Chapter 13-Travelling Together; Day854
Chapter 14-Our Constant Helper; Day855
Chapter 15-Strength For Each Day; Day856
Chapter 16-Prone To Wander; Day857; Ormoc Flood 21 Years Ago; Mom Tootsie Accident
Chapter 17-Confronting The Enemies; Day858
Chapter 18-Emotions That Defeat Us; Day859
Chapter 19-Things That Destroy; Day860; cc Turns 631,152,000 seconds
Chapter 20-When Life Turns Against Us; Day861
Chapter 21-When Others Disappoint; Day862
Chapter 22-Dealing With Suffering and Loss; Day863; Marlon-Helenjoy
Chapter 23-One Day At A Time; Day864
Chapter 24-Forks in the Road; Day867
Chapter 25-For Better or For Worse; Day868; Mom MRI
Chapter 26-Keeping The Flame Alive; Day869
Chapter 27-Passing The Baton; Day870
Chapter 28-Making An Impact; Day871
Chapter 29-As Life Moves On; Day873
Chapter 30-Our Glorious Hope; Day874

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Book Summary: Power Listening

September 4, 2012 Leave a comment

I have to write this book summary for a course credit so I might as well share this to the world.
Are you a bad listener?  Check to see if you are not a member of this group.

image

Date: September 2012 Name: Rigel G. Arcayan
Title/ Author/ ISBN; Power Listening
By Bernard T. Ferrari
ISBN: 978-159184462
208 pages
Introduction: A well prepared book on the subject of listening. The author starts the book with the importance of listening and how it can be used to make good judgment. Listening is a skill and just like any other skills, it must be learned and applied daily to become a part of our automatic response to any situation. There is power to listening and when we catch on to the immense potential of what it can do to a team or a corporation, we become addicted to listening well to our conversation partner. The author first establishes the 6 archetypes of a bad listener and discussed each one with clarity. After knowing/exposing the 6 archetypes of a bad listener, immediately you will latch on to the notion “not to be one”. The book is not just for CEO or managers as implied mostly in the book by mentioning examples of meetings of high level leaders in a big corporation. If you are a human being and you interact with people or a team; or if you are a parent who has children to manage daily; or a husband or a wife – this book is for you to digest.
What is the book about? Chapters:

1. Listening Is Worth the Effort
2. What Kind of Listener Are You?
3. Respect Your Conversation Partner
4. How to Keep Quite-Most of the Time
5. Challenge All Assumptions
6. Keeping Your Focus
7. What is the Mandate?
8. What is the Plan?
9. What is the Team?
10. How Will We Get it Done?
11. Is It getting Personal?
12. Connecting Better Listening to Better Judgment
13. Changing Your Organization through Listening
Conclusion: What to do on Monday Morning
Notes and Highlights:
Listening Actively:
Take nothing that you hear for granted, and try to sustain respect for the ideas of each of your colleagues.

Keep quiet! You have to get out of the way of the conversation in order to hear what’s important.

The Filing System:

1. Get to the mandate. Sometimes simply getting clarity on the specific dream, aspiration, or organizational mission underlying the discussion can make all the difference.

2. Understand the plan. How are we going to get from A to B? We have to understand each individual step if we want to be able to navigate toward a successful outcome.

3. Know who is on the team. Is this discussion about people and how they will work together?

4. Be aware of how well you are executing. Build your understanding around the risks and rewards, measurements, and accountability that will drive effective execution of the plan.

5. Be mindful of the personal. People are not automatons. Character and personality traits can impact what information is being offered.

Active Listening:
1. Listening is purposeful. A disciplined businessperson enters a conversation with a clear understanding of what it needs to accomplish.
2. Listening requires control. Even when you’re on the receiving end of a communication, you need to steer and filter the incoming information in order to accomplish your purpose.
3. Listening requires total focus and engagement. When you listen with intent, you must bring a heightened awareness to the conversation, so that you can formulate the right questions and generate the necessary interjections and interruptions (a subject I’ll talk about in more depth later) to advance the conversation productively.
4. Listening is the front end of decision making. It’s the surest,

What Kind Of Listener Are You?
6 Types of Bad Listeners

#1. The Opinionator
The Opinionator listens to others primarily to determine whether or not their ideas conform to what he or she already believes to be true. Opinionators may appear to be listening closely, but they aren’t listening with an open mind and instead often use their silences as opportunities to “reload.” While Opinionators may have good intentions, the effect of this listening style is to make conversation partners uncomfortable or even to intimidate them. Opinionators routinely squelch their colleagues’ ideas.

#2. The Grouch
The Grouches are poor listeners who are blocked by a feeling of certainty that your idea is wrong. One typical grouch, a top executive I worked with at an industrial company, made no secret of his contempt for other people’s ideas. He approached conversations as a necessary evil and sent the implicit message: “You’re full of it. You’re a fool. Why did you think I’d be interested in this?” Through perseverance, people could get through to him in conversations, painful though that was. However, many of his colleagues simply didn’t have the energy to break down his barriers every time they needed to express an idea to him.

#3. The Preambler
The Preambler’s windy lead-ins and questions are really stealth speeches, often intended to box conversation partners into a corner. Preamblers use questioning to steer the discussion, send warnings, or generate a desired answer. I remember a meeting with one Preambler, the chairman and CEO of a medical complex, who (by my watch) spent 15 minutes posing slanted questions
and making rhetorical assertions that all supported a recommendation he wanted to make to his board. Such behavior epitomizes one-way communication.

#4. The Perservator
Perseverators talk a lot without saying anything. If you pay close attention to one of these poor listeners, you’ll find that their comments and questions don’t advance the conversation. As often as not, Perseverators are editing on the fly and fine-tuning their thoughts through reiteration. Perseverators use the thoughts of their conversation partners to support their own prejudices, biases, or ideas. When talking to one, you may feel that the two of you are having completely different conversations.

#5. The Answer Man
Everyone wants to solve problems, but Answer Man spouts solutions before there is even a consensus about the challenge—a clear signal that input from conversation partners isn’t needed. Answer Man may appear at first to be an Opinionator. But the latter is motivated by strong feelings of being right, while the former is desperately eager to please and impress. You know you are speaking to Answer Man if your conversation partner can’t stop providing solutions and has ready answers for any flaws you point out, as well as quick rejoinders to all the points you raise.

#6. The Pretender
Pretenders feign engagement and even agreement but either aren’t interested in what you’re saying or have already made up their minds. The worst Pretender I ever met was the CEO of a health care company who had all the right moves: he seemed to hang on every word uttered, for example, and frequently won people over with a knowing, empathetic smile. That gave his conversation partners every indication that he was processing their words and agreeing with them. Yet eventually his colleagues would realize that he had not acted on anything they’d said or, worse, didn’t have access to that information when it came time to make decisions or take action.

How To Improve Your Listening Skills
1. Show Respect-respect your conversation partner no matter what
2. Keep Quiet-use 80/20 rule.  80% listening, 20% talking
3. Challenge Assumptions-seek to understand and challenge what they say-the assumptions

5 Questions To Ask Before Interrupting
1. Do I need any clarification?
2. Do I want to hear more about this issue, or one that has come before?
3. Do I need to parse an issue to focus on a certain aspect?
4. Do I want to head down a different line of discussion?
5. Is there a counterargument or new perspective

6. Do I need to end the conversation?

Keep Focus:
1. Compartmentalizing-Managing external stimuli
2. Decoupling-process of separating your emotions from the substance of the conversation
2. Get to the POINT and don’t repeat

Sorting the Chaos
1. Identify what a conversation is all about
2. Capture the information that matters from any conversation or meeting
3. Steer a conversation in order to ensure that you gather all that information
4. Know how to sort and process the information received
5. File away the information so you can remember, recall, and use it when necessary

File Drawers
1. Mandate
2. Plan
3. Team
4. Execution
5. Personal

A. What is the Mandate?
1. Why are we here?

2. Are there any misalignments?
3. Can we work with this mandate?

4. Does the mandate capture the imagination and energy of the leadership team?
5. Can the mandate be communicated more broadly to all the stakeholders?
6. Can the mandate be translated into a plan?

B. What is the Plan?
1. What are you going to do now?
2. What are the specific objectives that begin to move a company toward its mandate?
3. What are the specific initiatives that will help achieve the objectives?
4. What is the timeline?
5. What assets are required, and are they available?
6. What are the risks we will be facing?

C. What is the Team?
1. What capabilities do we need?
2. What are the mind-sets of the team members?
3. What are roles of the team members?
4. Will this assignment be goo for the individual on the team
5. What are the inescapable realities?
6. How is the chemistry?
7. What are the consequences of the performance?

D. How will we get it done?
1. How are we making decision?
2. Are we getting the right information at the right time?
3. How do we manage complexity?
4. Do we have a rhythm?

E. Is it getting personal?
1. What does this person value?
2. What are the individual’s aspirations?
3. How does this person interact with colleagues and others?
4. What is the person’s level of self-awareness?
Change your organization through Listening
1. Foster a more disciplined and productive organization.
2. Ensure the free and open flow of information and ideas.
3. Establish a reverence for fact-based discussions.
4. Generate new insights and more creative solutions.
5. Build an organization that excites and energizes its people.

What to do on Monday Morning?
1. Keep quiet.
2. Challenge assumptions.
3. Focus on what you need to know.
4. Increase your tolerance for ambiguity and uncertainty.
5. Sort incoming information into the appropriate file drawers and folders.
6. Work your memory to gain insights.
7. Know when to pull the trigger.
8. Demonstrate the best listening practices to lift everyone’s game.
What do you think about the book? The book is well written. I like what he wrote in his acknowledgement section that he will try to present the subject matter with the” applicability” in mind and to deliver the message with less prose. The author did exactly what he said will do-deliver the message with clarity and brevity. I hope all authors are like him-to the point and no extra run around the corner theory and examples. This is not a defined HOWTO book on listening. You have to think and digest on every point he is explaining and then apply it slowly to real life experiences. One morning after reading the first few chapters the night before, I was in a meeting with my small team at work and I noticed immediately the archetypes. I’m normally a very quiet/silent person by choice long before I’ve read this book but I did not know how to listen well. Knowing now the key concepts of Power Listening, it made me a better listener.

The idea of Power Listening mentioned in this book is focused on people. But as I was reading the book and now I’m writing a summary, it occurred to me that the application of Power Listening is not just limited to the realm of being in a conversation with someone or being in a group of people in a meeting or an interaction between a leader and a subordinate or a relationship between a husband and wife or the leadership between a parent and child. I saw more.

Think of a problem at work or home, if you apply the concepts of Power Listening and avoid the 6 archetypes of a bad listener, you can make way of a better judgment on what to do next. Don’t jump to conclusion when you see a slight victory, let the situation mellow down by listening to the data and outcome. Listen to the data available before taking any action to any situation.
Conclusion: If you don’t have time to read this book, immerse on this idea when you are in a conversation with somebody:
“Take nothing that you hear for granted, and try to sustain respect for the ideas of each of your colleagues. The next step may seem obvious: Keep quiet! You have to get out of the way of the conversation in order to hear what’s important”.p5

Recommendations:
1. Read this book.
2. Use the Kindle version if you have a tablet. I’ve read this book mostly before going to sleep and waking up.
3. Read one chapter at a time and then apply at work, co-worker or at home. I used my wife and son as the guinea pig. One time, my wife confided me about a bad situation at her workplace. She was feeling bad about the situation and here she is telling me everything and I had no idea where the subject was going. Instead of cutting her off and telling her that I’m not interested about her workplace negative reports, I told her to go on and I listened well. In the end, I noticed that all she wanted was to release the tension inside her head. For me, I learned that sometimes a person just needs somebody to listen – you don’t really have to do anything else.

4. Be Quite.  Give it a try! You’ll be amazed how much you hear around you. [not just inner voices of people, but data, insights and wisdom]

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Book Review: The 8th Habit

August 16, 2012 Leave a comment

Title/ Author/ ISBN; The 8th Habit Stephen R. Covey
ISBN-978-0-684-84665-1
Pages=328
Introduction The book 8th Habit is about personal leadership. The main theme is finding your voice and inspiring others to find theirs. When personal leadership is fully developed and grounded within, it can be used as a springboard to influence others [another dimension of effectiveness]. The 8th Habit is -“Finding your voice and inspire others to find theirs”. The book itself is not just about the 8th Habit, the title is misleading because once you finished reading the book, you end up with a “million things” to absorb/learn, practice, study and implement.
What is the book about? The book is divided into 15 Chapters. The book includes a DVD with 16 videos to be viewed almost at the end of every chapter. The videos are good “eye openers” and speak a lot of meaning. At the end of every chapter beginning in Chapter 4, there is a Question and Answer portion, these are off topic questions [sometimes] but has a lot of wisdom and good answers.

Chapters:
Chapter 1-The Pain
Chapter 2-The Problem
Chapter 3-The Solution
Chapter 4-Discover Your Voice
Chapter 5-Express Your Voice
Chapter 6-Inspiring Others to Find Their Voice-The Leadership Challenge
Chapter 7-The Voice of Influence
Chapter 8-The Voice of Trustworthiness
Chapter 9-The Voice and Speed of Trust
Chapter 10-Blending Voices
Chapter 11-One Voice
Chapter 12-The Voice and Discipline of Execution
Chapter 13-The Empowering Voice
Chapter 14-The 8th Habit and the Sweet Spot
Chapter 15-Using Our Voices Wisely to Serve Others

My Notes:
Recap: 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
1. Be proactive
2. Begin with the end in mind
3. Put first things first
4. Think Win-Win
5. Seek first to understand then to be understood
6. Synergize
7. Sharpen the saw
8. Find your voice and inspire others to find theirs

Two Steps to 8th Habit
A. Find your voice
-engage in work that genuinely taps your talents and fuels your passion
-to do something significant with your career
-to sense an unmet need
-harness all your talents and passion to meet that need
-to take the path to greatness rather than settling for mediocrity

B. Inspire others to find their voices
-continue your achievements by helping others finding their voice as well
-recognize, respect and create meaningful opportunities for others to express their voices
-to breathe life into another
-encourage and positively influence others within your organization

Focus
1. Expand your influence
2. Be trustworthy
3. Build trust
4. Blend other’s voices
5. Create a common vision

Execution
1. Align goals and systems
2. Empower others

Voice-Unique Personal Significance
1. Talent-natural gifts and talents
2. Need-know what the world needs [or workplace, or community]
3. Conscience-still small voice
4. Passion-things that naturally energize, excite, motivate and inspire

Life is too short-mindset change
1. To Live
2. To Love
3. To Leave a legacy

5 Ages of Civilization
1. Hunter/Gatherer Age
2. Agricultural Age
3. Industrial Age
4. Information/Knowledge Worker Age
5. Wisdom Age

Video Lesson Max and Max:
1. Do your job and your job only disease
2. Confusing leadership disease
3. Initiative killers

Whole Person Paradigm-4 Dimensions of a Person
1. Mind-To learn, growth and development
2. Body-To live, survival
3. Heart-To love, relationship
4. Spirit-To leave a legacy, meaning and contribution

6 Levels of Choice
1. Rebel or Quit
2. Malicious obedience
3. Willing compliance
4. Cheerful cooperation
5. Heartfelt commitment
6. Creative excitement

A Great Organization
1. Can sustain long term growth
2. Provide prosperity
3. Contribute to the world

Habit is the glue of:
1. Knowledge
2. Attitude
3. Skills

Hardwired Birth Gifts
1. Freedom and power to choose
2. Principles [natural laws-universal, timeless, self-evident]
3. The 4 Intelligences/Capacities
IQ-Mental
PQ-Physical/Economic
EQ-Emotional/Social
SQ-Spiritual

Stimulus and Response is separated by our Freedom to Choose

5 Component of Emotional Intelligence-EQ
1. Self-awareness
2. Personal motivation
3. Self-regulation
4. Empathy
5. Social skills

Components of Spiritual Intelligence
1. Integrity-being true to one’s highest values and conscience
2. Meaning-a sense of contribution to people and causes
3. Voice-aligning work with one’s unique calling and gifts

Video Lessons: Law of the Harvest
Preparation
Patience
Respect Law of Nature
Acknowledge Human Element
Avoid shortcuts

4 Leadership Must Haves
1. Have a vision-Mind
2. Have discipline-Body
3. Have passion-Heart
4. Have a conscience-Spirit

Traits of Significant Person
A-Vision-Mental Intelligence/Capacity
1. Idealistic
2. Long term perspective
3. Anticipates failure
4. Dreamer
5. People believer
6. Sets expectations
7. Philosophical
8. Pioneering
9. Strategic Thinker
10.Hopeful
11.Outside the box

B- Discipline-Physical Intelligence/Capacity
1. Realistic
2. Focused
3. Execution
4. Constant
5. Takes initiatives
6. Committed
7. Hard working
8.Tenacious
9. Willing to sacrifice
10. Self-disciplined
11. Competent
12. Consistent
13. Decisive

C-Passion-Emotional Intelligence/Capacity
1. Optimistic
2. Hope
3. Synergistic
4. Courageous
5. Emphatic
6. Inclusive
7. Affirming
8. Fearless
9. Challenging
10. Sensitive
11. Motivating
12. Fun
13. Influential
14. Humor
15. People oriented

D-Conscience-Spiritual Intelligence/Capacity
1. Enthusiastic
2. Intuitive
3. Takes responsibility
4. Moral
5. Wise
6. Integrity
7. Servant
8. Humble
9. Fair
10. Abundant
11. Ethical
12. Inspired
13. Compassionate
14. Respectful
15. Cause oriented

What do successful leaders do?
1. Set direction-vision, customers, future
2. Demonstrate personal character-habits, integrity, trust, analytical thinking
3. Mobilize individual commitment-engage others, share power
4. Engender organizational capability-build teams, manage teams

4 Primary Management Practices
1. Strategy-devise and maintain a clearly stated focused strategy
2. Execution-develop and maintain flawless operation execution
3. Culture-develop and maintain a performance oriented culture
4. Structure-build and maintain a fast, flexible, flat organization

7 Levels of Initiative
1. Wait until told.
2. Ask
3. Make a recommendation
4. I intend to
5. Do it and report immediately
6. Do it and report periodically
7. Do it

5 Cancerous Behaviors
1. Criticizing
2. Complaining
3. Comparing
4. Competing
5. Contending

Survey Said: “Character of Effective Leader”
1. Integrity [the top quality]
2. Communicator
3. People Focused
4. Visionary
5. Caring
6. Decision Maker
7. Dedicated
8. A Model
9. Motivator
10. Expert
11. Courageous

Effective Team/Individual
1. Clear Mission and Values
2. Goals are set
3. Plan Weekly
4. Plan Daily

Types/Levels of Listening
1. Ignoring
2. Pretend Listening [patronizing]
3. Selective Listening
4. Attentive Listening
5. Empathic Listening [within the other’s frame of reference][highest level]

Solution Continuum
1. Lose-Win/Win-Lose [transaction]
2. Compromise [transaction]
3. Mutual understanding [without agreeing] [transformation]
4. Win-Lose/Lose-Win [with increased understanding and caring] [transformation]
5. Compromise on issue [synergy in relationship] [transformation]
6. Synergy on issue and in relationship [transformation][stay on this]

Video Lessons: Goal
1. Unable to identify top goal and priorities
2. Not passionate about the goal
3. Less time spent on goals
4. Don’t understand what to do

Video Lessons: Berlin Wall
1. Barriers exist within people
2. Barriers prevents communication
3. Barriers cannot be broken in  a short time
4. Barriers are sometimes spiritual-unseen
5. People are different even after the barrier is taken down

Point of View Changes the World
You cannot change the world
But you can change the facts
And when you change the facts,
You changes point of view
When you change the point of view,
You can change the world

Survey Said: What is holding Empowerment?
1. Manager afraid to let go [let go of micromanagement]
2. Misaligned systems
3. Manager lack skills
4. Employee lack skills
5. Employee don’t want responsibility
6. Manager too busy
7. Management too controlling
8. Lack of company vision
9. Employee don’t trust manager
10. Employee lack integrity

A Servant Leader 5 Questions
1. How is it going?
2. What are you learning?
3. What are your goals?
4. How can I help you?
5. How am I doing as a helper?

4 Roles of Leadership
1. Modeling-Inspire trust without expecting it [personal moral authority]
2. Pathfinding-create order without demanding it [visionary moral authority]
3. Aligning-nourishes both vision and empowerment without proclaiming them [institutional moral authority]
4. Empowering-unleashes human potential without externally motivating it [cultural moral authority]

Modes of Communication
1. Hostility [1+1=-1] [contention]
2. Defensive Communication [1+1=5] [contention]
3. Communication Compromise [1+1=1.5] [transaction]
4. Synergy-Third Alternative [1+1=3, 10, 100] [transformation]

Execution Gap
1. Unable to identify top goals and priorities
2. Not passionate about the goal
3. Less time spent on goals
4. Don’t understand what to do

Requisite of a successful team:
1. Mission-clear purpose
2. Strategic planning-main strategy on how to accomplish the mission
3. Structure-detailed roadmap of actions; people, resources, tools [templates, database, spreadsheets, documentation

Mission Statement
1. should encompass your sense of purpose, your vision and your values
2. strategic plan-crisp descriptions of how you will provide value to your customer [value proposition]; focus and voice
3. strategic plan=action plan, realizing your vision and values everyday

Level 5 Leadership Hierarchy
Level 1-Highly Capable Individual, makes productive contributions through talent, knowledge, skills and good work habits
Level 2-Contributing Team Member, contributes to the achievement of group objectives, works effectively with others in a group settings
Level 3-Competent Manager, organizes people and resources toward effective and effective pursuit of predetermined objectives
Level 4-Effective Leader, catalyzes commitment to and vigorous pursuit of a clear and compelling vision; stimulates the group to high performance standards
Level 5-Executive, builds enduring greatness through a paradoxical combination of personal humility plus professional will
What do you think about the book? The success and the impact/influence of the 7 Habits across the globe transformed many individuals from just being “good” to “being great”. Personally, I’ve been a believer and a practitioner of the 7 Habits many years ago. My favorite is the Time Management Matrix-Quadrant2. Truly a remarkable starting point to get things organized in our personal life. Knowing the fundamental principles of a true working leadership theory, one should not hesitate to include the 7 Habits as the core/guiding principle in life. Later on, once mastery is attained to the fullest; apply/utilize the 8th Habit. The 8th Habit takes the 7 Habits as the basic foundation of personal development and then later implemented like a building block to transform a person, a family, a workplace or an organization. Influencing a person or a friend or a child or a colleague is a broad subject by itself and takes a lot of wisdom/demand on how to truly impact their lives with what we currently believe and practice. The author took time and effort and provided plenty of explanation and theories and gave examples on how to guide others to find their voice. The first step before we can even think of executing the 8th Habit is to find/know our voice. Once our voice is identified and engrained in our personal habits/systems and the voice itself is grounded in solid foundation of our own “life examples” and “life experiences” we can then share it to someone. You cannot share what you don’t have and it is impossible to really give what you do not practice. Many people are finding the hard truth of why our personal leadership is ineffective. The true/short answer is most likely; we have not “got it” ourselves yet. There are many components to become a great leader/person. One has to constantly sharpen those fundamental skills/traits daily and work towards flawlessness and constancy of application to real life situation. There is no shortcut to true personal leadership, one has to acquire each skillset one a time and then later on we become capable to inspire others and one day they too will nod their head and say – “this is a good example of true leadership and me too – I want to inspire others to find their meaning and voice”. In doing so, we transform a person at first and then our surroundings and then our organization and then the world.
Conclusions/Recommendations: I was in the mid part of the book when I shared the 8th Habit to someone. I asked him if he knows about the 7 Habits and he said yes. Then later I asked him if he heard about the 8th Habit, he became curious instantly but when I told him that the 8th Habit demands us to inspire others – he automatically become so antagonistic about the subject and we started having a debate. His point of view are these:
1. At work, I have to compete to survive.
2. Why would I inspire others? Who cares about other employees?
3. I worked hard to get where I am, everyone should go through the same ordeal.

I was speechless and unable to carry on the conversation. Later in my reading of the book, I came across the 5 cancerous behaviors. That is when I realized that a personal transformation must happen first. The transformation must come inside the core of our self – mind, body, heart and spirit. Without the visible transformation, a person cannot set out to sail in the business of inspiring other people. It takes great humility and firm belief system to transform an individual. A person can read several motivational/self-help books, listens to great speakers but without the spiritual transformation within, the human nature will take over and dominate the person and will eventually show the symptoms of the cancerous behaviors of criticizing, complaining, comparing, competing and contending. Step Zero-get rid of this cancerous attitudes.

The Book 8th Habit is a lengthy read. I managed to take notes as I went along through the 20 pages/day pace. I wish they have a Kindle version of the book so that I can just screenshot key points and take notes. There are a good amount of theories to dissect and absorb but generally the knowledge and wisdom of what Covey is talking about is easily comprehensible.

I made a summary of key points on this report to remind me of the things that I’ve read. Reading the key points will not immerse you to the full effect of the message of the book. You really have to read the book to know what Covey is talking about.

Recommendations:
1. Read the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People before reading this book.
2. Take notes when reading this book. Mark or highlight key points so that when you try to go back for a second reading, you know where to go.
3. Take time to absorb the material and then apply. You have to practice it.
4. Establish a clear personal mission statement. Once done, inspiring others will come natural.

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BookSummary: Fifth Discipline

June 9, 2011 Leave a comment

The five disciplines of the learning organization discussed in the book are:
1) "Personal mastery is a discipline of continually clarifying and deepening our personal vision, of focusing our energies, of developing patience, and of seeing reality objectively." (p. 7)
2) "Mental models are deeply ingrained assumptions, generalizations, or even pictures of images that influence how we understand the world and how we take action." (p. 8)
3) "Building shared vision a practice of unearthing shared pictures of the future that foster genuine commitment and enrollment rather than compliance." (p. 9)
4) "Team learning starts with dialogue, the capacity of members of a team to suspend assumptions and enter into genuine thinking together." (p. 10)
5) Systems thinking – The Fifth Discipline that integrates the other 4.
 
"Systems thinking also needs the disciplines of building shared vision, mental models, team learning, and personal mastery to realize its potential. Building shared vision fosters a commitment to the long term. Mental models focus on the openness needed to unearth shortcomings in our present ways of seeing the world. Team learning develops the skills of groups of people to look for the larger picture beyond individual perspectives. And personal mastery fosters the personal motivation to continually learn how our actions affect our world." (p. 12)
 
The Learning Disabilities
1) "I am my position."
 
People fail to recognize their purpose as a part of the enterprise. Instead, they see themselves as an inconsequential part of a system over which they have little influence, leading them to limit themselves to the jobs they must perform at their own positions. This makes it hard to pinpoint the reason an enterprise is failing, with so many hidden ‘loose screws’ around.
2) "The enemy out there."
3) The Illusion of Taking Charge
4) The Fixation of Events
 
The tendency to see things as results of short-term events undermines our ability to see things on a grander scale. Cave men needed to react to events quickly for survival. However, the biggest threats we face nowadays are rarely sudden events, but slow, gradual processes, such as environmental changes.
5) The Parable of the Boiling frog
6) The Delusion of Learning from Experience
7) The Myth of the Management Team
 
The 11 Laws of the Fifth Discipline
 
1) Today’s problems come from yesterday’s "solutions."
2) The harder you push, the harder the system pushes back.
3) Behavior will grow better before it grows worse.
4) The easy way out usually leads back in.
5) The cure can be worse than the disease.
6) Faster is slower.
7) Cause and effect are not closely related in time and space.
8) Small changes can produce big results…but the areas of highest leverage are often the least obvious.
9) You can have your cake and eat it too —but not all at once.
10) Dividing an elephant in half does not produce two small elephants.
11) There is no blame.

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BookNotes: The Game We {sometimes} Play

April 13, 2010 Leave a comment

Why Am I Afraid to Tell You Who I Am? [read]
Objective: Identify and stop playing.

1    All Heart
2    Always Right
3    The Body Beautiful
4    The Braggart
5    The Clown
6    The Competitor
7    The Conformist
8    The Crank
9    The Cynic
10    Deluded by Grandeur
11    The Dominator
12    The Dreamer
13    The Drinker, The Problem, and Dope Addict
14    The Flirt
15    Fragile – Handle with Care
16    The gossip
17    The Hedonist
18    I…I…I (egocentric)
19    Indecisive and Uncertain
20    Inferior and Guilty
21    Inflammable – Handle with caution
22    The Intellect – alias the Egghead
23    The Loner
24    The Martyr
25    The Messiah
26    The Mommy
27    Ponce de Leon
28    The Poor Mouth
29    Prejudice and Bigotry
30    The Procrastinator
31    Resentfully Yours
32    The Sex Bomb and Predatory Male
33    The Strong, Silent Type vs Willing and Wordy
34    Suffering is the spice (price) of life
35    The Worrier

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