“Mercedez & Me” Quandary

I have to share with you my dilemma lately [funny but difficult to decide, please read the letter that my 19-years old son wrote, 827 words of persuasion].  Here’s the background story:  Remember the journal entry about the “Overprotection=Misplaced Anger”  read it here if you missed it . Brent is the child that I trained to be more independent, un-pampered, mentally strong, humble, carefree [example: he dropped his pacifier and we don’t even sterilize or boil it anymore].  He is a sophomore in the local university – UT [University of Texas] which is just a 30 minutes drive from my house.  This 2nd year is an exciting year for him because he will be getting his own unfurnished apartment unlike during the freshman year when he was in a semi-dorm apartment.   So many changes going on lately including a choice of which car to drive. When my 4’ 9”  daughter was about to get a car, I bought her a Chevy Colorado V8 pickup truck and when she went to college that truck becomes her mode of transportation [even until now]. Reason for the pickup truck is bigger = safer [seriously].   She drives to San Antonio from Round Rock [Texas] frequently [90 miles at 80mph] and as part of a good countermeasure – having a bigger and sturdier car, this gave us a “somewhat” better peace of my mind.  The strategy of having a bigger car works.  She had two near misses in 3 years and imagining her with the smaller car, it could have been a different outcome.  In 2013, we needed a 4th car since this 16 years old was given a license to drive in Texas. I opted for a 2nd Mercedes ML 350. The real objective [self] is when Brent needed to bring a car to UT, he will drive the old 2002 Yukon SUV [which is bigger and taller] and I will be using the old ML.  Fair enough that plan was suppose to happen until yesterday when I received a letter of intention from him. 

Now I have to think for a better choice.

Original Plan: [In this order]
A. Wife – 2013 ML350
B. Husband – 2006 ML350
C. Daughter – 2009 Colorado Pickup Truck
D. Son – 2002 Yukon

The situation is a dilemma to me because of the following reasons:
1. I already told my oldest daughter, “No, you can’t have the ML”. I don’t want my kids to grow “big headed” driving expensive cars and showing off.  I don’t even use those cars for work.
2. I don’t want to say “no” to a hard working child either who is really doing good in school and also I trained him to be who he is now – persuasive, honest, hard working, patient, silent person, humble, respectful.

I am aware that to some people this is a silly issue.  But remember, I am an over-analyzer  and psychoanalyze every decision I make.  The question now is which child I don’t want to offend?

Hmmm.  Ok, enough of this silliness.  I’m just sharing you these stuff, I really have nothing to share.

Here’s some journals I wrote about Brent that I wrote a while ago: https://blindcaveman.wordpress.com/page/2/?s=brent . Don’t miss the you tube video of this guy. Here’s my favorite:  Man in the Mirror. This video was taken in March of 2003 when the 2002 Yukon truck.  Brent was only 7 years old [@First Grade]. He is now 19.

15 minutes later….
Oh, before I go, after watching the video lately, now I know the answer to this dilemma.  Brent gets to drive the car that used to pick him up in the first grade.  How brilliant and historic will that be!  Will see if this works.

Mercedez & Me [Brent A.]

Since the invention of the first steam powered auto-mobile in 1768 by one Nicolas-Joseph Cugnot, man has come a long way thanks to the power automobiles had bestowed. No longer was man defined by the limitations of the reach of his arms or the breadth of his stride. Cars have multiplied man’s potential and are an essential tool to be utilized to any aspiring young teen college student. There are a myriad of reasons why the Mercedes-Benz should accompany me on my journey into adulthood instead of the GMC Yukon.

I, Brent A, received my driver’s license on the 21st of December 2012. My official driving career is not even a mere three years old! Out of these short three years of driving, 99 times out of 100, every time I drove which car was I driving? The Mercedes-Benz ML350 2006. NOT the Yukon. For three years I had woken up, ate breakfast, and hopped into the silver automobile and drove to school or to tennis practice or to a friend’s house. Whenever I had tasks to complete, chores to accomplish, a to-do list to finish, the Mercedes-Benz ML350 was my faithful companion and over the past three years we had gotten to know each other very well.

Now imagine you are a professional doubles tennis player and you and your partner have been playing together for years and years and are esteemed champions in the eyes of the whole world. Because you both had been working together for so long, you get to understand and complement each other and on the court you are no longer two separate people but one harmonious unified being. Now imagine if suddenly your long-time partner is ripped apart from you and a rookie replacement is thrust upon you. Yeah sure the rookie may get the job done, you may be able to survive, BUT the chemistry is not there, the harmony and unification is absent, and you will solely be surviving and NOT thriving.

This is exactly the scenario I wish to avoid by having the Yukon shoved onto me. My driving experience with Yukon is EXTREMELY limited and you cannot deny that driving the Yukon is a completely different experience from driving the Mercedes. I am not familiar with the dimensions of the Yukon, I am not familiar with the handling of the Yukon. If I were to take the Yukon, not only will I be forced to adapt to such a foreign automobile I would also be forced to adapt in the busy city of Austin which is reported as the 8th highest ranking city in the nation for worst traffic by forbes.com. If I am expected to drive at a competent level that Forbes names one of the worst places to drive I believe it would be extremely important for me and my safety to take a vehicle that I am comfortable with you surely would agree?

One of your biggest reasons for my taking the Yukon instead of the Mercedes is because you claim that I would be safer in the large Yukon. However, I would argue that in reality the opposite is true! My chances for being in an accident in Austin increases dramatically in the Yukon. I do not possess the experience or comfortability or familiarity necessary in order to drive the Yukon effectively in the busy traffic-prone city that is Austin, Texas. In addition to my personal unfamiliarity with the vehicle, the Yukon also has an extremely unsafe physical history. If you would remember, the yukon’s brakes were deemed unsafe and un-drivable. I do NOT want to drive a car of that standard around Austin. On the other hand, the Mercedes-Benz ML350 has never had any issues to that degree of gravity and in my three years of driving it I have never personally had an issue with the car. The Mercedes is a car that I would truly put my trust in to keep my child safe, the cheap GMC Yukon is not.

The United States of America prides itself on its investment in the future of America: its children. Do your part in serving America by investing in me by giving me the Mercedes-Benz to drive in the Fall 2015-Spring 2016 semester at the University of Texas at Austin. My father once taught me that we only have one life-time to live on this earth and to not waste it with regrets. He taught me to eliminate any “should’ve could’ve would’ve” moments in my life. He taught me to live without anxiety. He taught me that when I wanted something I shouldn’t ask for it but that I should go out and get it. I will be taking the Mercedes-Benz ML350 to school because this is something I want and I know that it is the right decision and I hope you would understand and continue to support me on my journey in this life and the next.


Please don’t psychoanalyze my choice of cars. I opted for German cars as a gift to my wife and beside – I have to spend some of my hard earned dollars on something, I’ve done a good job in my financial planning. Read more here: https://blindcaveman.wordpress.com/tag/finance/

Principle: Partnership Requires One Mind

“Brothers and sisters, by the authority of our Lord Jesus Christ, I beg all of you to agree with each other. You should not be divided into different groups. Be completely joined together again with the same kind of thinking and the same purpose.” 1 Corinthians 1:10 ERV

“Agree-be in accord, be in agreement; be similar and consistent; coincide in characteristics; go well together; achieve harmony of opinion.”

One of the best indicator that our endeavor or project or our partnership or our relationship or our marriage will fail is the presence of constant disagreement. Occasional conflict is fine but when faced with daily arguments, disagreements, feelings not lined up or conflict of discernment or not seeing the same reality, then the partnership is headed for an upcoming disintegration. It will break and evolve into something else.

We cannot prevent all catastrophic partnership failures but we can mend some — especially if the partnership started in a strong bond and superb foundation. Partnership requires a base foundation of trust, respect, submission and bending of minds. These are the bedrocks of a solid relationship. Add the essence of time to it and you will have a concrete structure of a lasting partnership.

To Brittney and Brent, may you guys establish these foundation early as you travel towards building your own family and career and circle of friends.

Embrace the principle of one mind.

See it at YouVersion.com:

http://bible.com/406/1co.1.10.erv

Book Summary: Mindset

Book-Mindset: The New Psychology of Success
Author-Carol Dweck
ISBN-9780345472328
Pages: 449 [pdf]
Chapters: 8

Chapter 1-The Mindsets
Chapter 2-Inside the Mindsets
Chapter 3-The Truth about ability and accomplishments
Chapter 4-Sports:The Mindset of a Champion
Chapter 5-Business Mindset and Leadership
Chapter 6-Relationships: Mindsets in Love (or Not)
Chapter 7-Parents, Teachers and Coaches
Chapter 8-Changing Mindsets

NOTES/REFERENCES:
What is Mindset?
Mindset Diagram
Understanding Mindset
More Dweck’s Articles

# NOTES
1 Fixed Mindset leads to a desire to look smart
2 Fixed Mindset avoid Challenges
3 Fixed Mindset give up easily
4 Fixed Mindset see effort as fruitless or worse
5 Fixed Mindset ignore useful negative feedback
6 Fixed Mindset feel threatened by the success of others
7 Fixed Mindset RESULT: plateau early and achieve less than their full potential
8 Fixed mindset believing that your qualities are carved in stone
9 Fixed mindset believing your personal traits are fixed
10 Fixed mindset creates an urgency to prove yourself over and over
11 Fixed mindset focus on permanent traits
12 Fixed mindset fear challenges
13 Fixed mindset devalue effort
14 Fixed mindset produces non-learners, they already know it [no need to learn]
15 Fixed mindset only interested when the feedback reflected on their ability
16 Fixed mindset put people on a pedestal
17 Fixed mindset make people feel perfect
18 Fixed mindset worship people
19 Fixed mindset fixed qualities
20 Fixed mindset it’s not enough just to succeed.
21 Fixed mindset it’s not enough just to look smart and talented.
22 Fixed mindset you have to be pretty much flawless
23 Fixed mindset you have to be flawless right away
24 Fixed mindset measure the fixed ability right now and project it into the future
25 Fixed mindset must succeed perfectly and immediately
26 Fixed mindset always proving that they are special and superior
27 Fixed mindset believe that talent is ALL
28 Fixed mindset the loss of one’s self to failure can be a permanent, haunting trauma.
29 Fixed mindset my Success Is Your Failure
30 Fixed mindset try to repair their self-esteem after a failure is by assigning blame or making excuses
31 Fixed mindset higher levels of depression
32 Fixed mindset effort is only for people with deficiencies.
33 Fixed mindset when failure: “I could have been [fill in the blank].”
34 Fixed mindset proving superiority over and over [on anything]
35 Fixed mindset easily discouraged
36 Fixed mindset will quit in a heartbeat
37 Fixed mindset will skip learning when feeling that there is room for failure
38 Fixed mindset everything is about outcome
39 Fixed mindset low effort and always looking for easy task
40 Fixed mindset prefer effortless success
41 Fixed mindset always putting their talent in display
42 Fixed mindset intolerant of mistakes
43 Fixed mindset less confident person
44 Fixed mindset early performance tells you all you need to know about their talent and their future.
45 Fixed mindset imperfections are shameful
46 Fixed mindset criticism: view as a threat, an insult or an attack
47 Fixed mindset setbacks: a total failure
48 Fixed mindset does not cope well with adversities
49 Fixed mindset does not need a team
50 Fixed mindset delivers blame and excuses during failure
51 Fixed mindset full of bitterness
52 Fixed mindset always thinking of being brilliant
53 Fixed mindset felt judged and labeled by the rejection
54 Fixed mindset rejection is like the end of the world
55 Fixed mindset when rejection happens: REVENGE is the #1 priority
56 Fixed mindset believe that your qualities are fixed
57 Fixed mindset believe your partner’s qualities are fixed
58 Fixed mindset believe that relationship’s qualities are fixed—inherently good or bad, meant-to-be or not
59 Fixed mindset meant-to-be.
60 Fixed mindset the ideal is instant, perfect, and perpetual compatibility. Like it was meant to be
61 Fixed mindset a mind reader-always reading partner/spouse mind and making assumptions
62 Fixed mindset believe that a couple should share all of each other’s views
63 Fixed mindset assume entitlement-hey I deserve this…
64 Fixed mindset assign blame to a failing relationship ie. character flaw
65 Fixed mindset blame self or partner when relationship go sour
66 Fixed mindset always defending self
67 Fixed mindset shy type
68 Fixed mindset lack social skills
69 Fixed mindset avoid meeting new friends
70 Fixed mindset does not like to let their guard down
71 Fixed mindset cannot let go of fear of failure or rejection
72 Fixed mindset I have a certain amount of intelligence, and I can’t really do much to change it.”I feel like a reject”
73 Fixed mindset “I’d feel like a reject”
74 Fixed mindset “I’m a total failure”
75 Fixed mindset “I’m an idiot”
76 Fixed mindset “I’m a loser”
77 Fixed mindset “I’d feel worthless and dumb—everyone’s better than me”
78 Fixed mindset “My life is pitiful.”
79 Fixed mindset “I have no life.”
80 Fixed mindset “Somebody upstairs doesn’t like me.”
81 Fixed mindset “The world is out to get me.”
82 Fixed mindset “Someone is out to destroy me.”
83 Fixed mindset “Nobody loves me, everybody hates me.”
84 Fixed mindset “Life is unfair and all efforts are useless.”
85 Fixed mindset “Life stinks. I’m stupid. Nothing good ever happens to me.”
86 Fixed mindset “I’m the most unlucky person on this earth.”
87 Fixed mindset “Do nothing.”
88 Fixed mindset “Stay in bed.”
89 Fixed mindset “Get drunk.”
90 Fixed mindset “Eat.”
91 Fixed mindset “Yell at someone if I get a chance to.”
92 Fixed mindset “Eat chocolate.”
93 Fixed mindset “Listen to music and pout.”
94 Fixed mindset “Go into my closet and sit there.”
95 Fixed mindset “Pick a fight with somebody.”
96 Fixed mindset “Cry.”
97 Fixed mindset “Break something.”
98 Fixed mindset “What is there to do?”
99 Fixed mindset “If you have to work at something, you must not be good at it.”
100 Fixed mindset “Things come easily to people who are true geniuses.”
101 Fixed mindset “People have a certain fixed amount of management ability
102 Fixed mindset and they cannot do much to change it.”
103 Fixed mindset  I’m unlovable
104 Fixed mindset “If I had to choose between me being happy and him being miserable, I would definitely want him to be
105 Fixed mindset miserable.”
106 Fixed mindset “As a husband/wife, I have a right to—’ and my husband/wife has the duty to—.”
107 Fixed mindset ‘I’m not going to wash the dishes, no way. That’s a woman’s job.’
108 Fixed mindset the man/woman I loved was a bad person
109 Fixed mindset he/she was a bad person and drove him/her awayrelationship was bad and irreparable”
110 Fixed mindset my partner is incapable of change
111 Fixed mindset Nothing can improve our relationship
112 Fixed mindset “I am a football player, and therefore I’m better than you.”
113 Fixed mindset “I am a basketball player … pathetic geeks like you are not on my level.”
114 Fixed mindset You have permanent traits and I’m judging them
115 Growth mindset believe that anyone can be anything
116 Growth mindset believe that a person’s true potential is unknown (and unknowable);
117 Growth mindset based on the belief that your basic qualities are things you can cultivate through your efforts
118 Growth mindset believe that you can learn anything and new things as they come
119 Growth mindset believe they are learners
120 Growth mindset paid close attention to information that could stretch their knowledge. Only for them was learning a priority
121 Growth mindset see people’s faults and help them to work on them.
122 Growth mindset challenge people to become a better person.
123 Growth mindset encourage them to learn new things.
124 Growth mindset effort is the key to success
125 Growth mindset success is about being your best self, not about being better than others
126 Growth mindset learn from failure
127 Growth mindset will not quit easily
128 Growth mindset will take the challenge
129 Growth mindset will comeback another day and fight
130 Growth mindset not easily discourage
131 Growth mindset continue their effort even if progress is not visible
132 Growth mindset eagerness to learn and advance despite repeated failure
133 Growth mindset passionate of what they do
134 Growth mindset outcome of effort is not the ultimate goal, the journey is more important
135 Growth mindset value what they’re doing regardless of the outcome.
136 Growth mindset hard effort and always looking for a difficult task
137 Growth mindset humble about their talent
138 Growth mindset love mistakes, it is vehicle for learning
139 Growth mindset a confident person, nothing to prove
140 Growth mindset early performance is not an indicator of great success
141 Growth mindset imperfections is a source of motivation
142 Growth mindset criticism: comments are helpful, a positive feedback
143 Growth mindset setbacks: motivating and stimulating and encouraging
144 Growth mindset during failure: i will double my effort
145 Growth mindset loves adversities, it is a room for growth
146 Growth mindset loves team environment
147 Growth mindset delivers encouragement to the team when there is failure
148 Growth mindset full of gratitude
149 Growth mindset always thinking of growth and passion
150 Growth mindset rejection does not define the future but a stepping stone for change
151 Growth mindset accepts rejection wholeheartedly
152 Growth mindset when rejection happens: accepts the facts and move on [not dwelling too long]
153 Growth mindset things can be developed
154 Growth mindset all—you, your partner, and the relationship—are capable of growth and change
155 Growth mindset confront a bad situation and look for resolution
156 Growth mindset so forgiving and give partner a room to grow/change
157 Growth mindset being patient while in a bad/difficult relationsh
158 Growth mindset “I’d start thinking about studying harder”
159 Growth mindset “I’d look at what was wrong on my exam, resolve to do better”
160 Growth mindset “People can always substantially change their basic skills for managing other people.”
161 Growth mindset You are a developing person and I am interested in your development
162 Growth mindset “I did not win the tournament and will try a different strategy next time”
163 Growth mindset ”I’m diagnosed with a life ending illness, I will spend the rest of my remaining days the best I can”
164 Growth mindset ”I will cry but I will find ways to change things”
165 Growth mindset ”I will not succumb to self destructive actions when I fail”
166 Growth mindset ”I will force myself to get up every morning and start a motivating day even if I do not feel doing it”
167 Growth mindset ”I will not use eating/overeating as a way of escape of my situation”
168 Growth mindset ”I will not go to my closet and sit there all day and ponder about my failures”
169 Growth mindset ”I will look for another job instead of finding blame why I was let go”
170 Growth mindset ”I will not break things to show that I am really upset”
171 Growth mindset ”I will refuse to pick a fight with anybody”
172 Growth mindset ”I will not be paralyzed by my misfortune, I will do something positive to regain my status”
173 Growth mindset ”My depression is holding me back in life, but I will find ways to help myself”
174 Growth mindset ”My partner’s love is gone, I will give him/her time to ponder about the relationship”
175 Growth mindset ”I will not give up in a relationship easily”
176 Growth mindset ”I received a traffic violation, I will make sure I learned my mistakes and not repeat it”
177 Growth mindset ”My friend did  not treat me well, I will understand and find reasons why and I will not judge him/her”
178 Growth mindset ”I will not label someone if I am mistreated”
179 Growth mindset ”I will not use mind-reading in a relationship, I will ask about his/her actions”
180 Growth mindset ”I will confront any challenges that comes to life and not run away from it”
181 Growth mindset ”I will always focus on my development everyday to make myself better in life”
182 Growth mindset ”I don’t have a skill to write but I will try writing anyway”
183 Growth mindset ”I can’t run long distance but I will start training no matter what”
184 Growth mindset ”Co workers and friends are a resource for learning and not competition”
185 Growth mindset ”I will stretch my thinking and patience if I am in a bad situation”
186 Growth mindset ”I am not a very smart person but I will study harder and read more”
187 Growth mindset ”I will double up my effort”
188 Growth mindset ”I will show my failures to others so that they too can learn”
189 Growth mindset ”I will encourage my partner to become a better person”
190 Growth mindset ”I will take remedial courses to keep up”
191 Growth mindset ”I will do it even if it is impossible”
192 Growth mindset ”I will keep going in my endeavor even if I can see the finish line”
193 Growth mindset ”I will force myself to read books even if I don’t like to read”
194 Growth mindset ”I will listen to others when they me things or lessons”
195 Growth mindset ”I will not aim for perfection but I will aim to closer-perfection”
196 Growth mindset ”I will do something that I could not do before”
197 Growth mindset ”I have OCD but I will find ways why this gift is given to me”
198 Growth mindset ”I am diagnosed bipolar but I will find ways to harness the power of this disorder”
199 Growth mindset ”I am special/different but I will find ways to cultivate my gifts”
200 Growth mindset ”My illness will not put me or my mind in a box, I will find ways to make it serve me or others”
201 Growth mindset ”I am unhappy but I will try to overcome my unhappiness in whatever way possible”
202 Growth mindset ”I will take some big risk”
203 Growth mindset ”I am not afraid of failure”
204 Growth mindset ”My boss told me that I am not good enough, I will find ways to show him/her  that he/she is wrong”
205 Growth mindset ”I don’t know the direction of my life, I will ask people, or read or research and study my skills and strengths”
206 Growth mindset ”I will not live to convince or prove to people that  I am good or the best, I am satisfied with what I have”
207 Growth mindset ”I will not compete with others”
208 Growth mindset ”I will not compare my life with others”
209 Growth mindset ”I will not criticize others, I will give rooms to their imperfections”
210 Growth mindset ”I will not complain on any difficult situation, I will accept any misfortune and hardship and then find ways to get out from it”
211 Growth mindset ”I will think of life as a journey”
212 Growth mindset ”I am not the best, but I will find ways to be the best in some ways”
213 Growth mindset ”I will pick a thing that I love to do and stay at it no matter what”
214 Growth mindset ”I will continue in my pursuit on something even if I’m surrounded by naysayers”
215 Growth mindset ”The door is closed for me, I will looks for another open door”
216 Growth mindset ”Someone took my water well, I will dig another water well somewhere”

PARENTING MINDSET
Parent: “You learned that so quickly! You’re so smart!”
Child: If I don’t learn something quickly, I’m not smart.

Parent: “Look at that drawing. Martha, is he the next Picasso or what?”
Child: I shouldn’t try drawing anything hard or they’ll see I’m no Picasso.

Parent: “You’re so brilliant, you got an A without even studying!”
Child: I’d better quit studying or they won’t think I’m
brilliant.

ALTERNATIVE TO PRAISING WHEN A CHILD IS DOING GREAT
“You really studied for your test and your improvement shows it. You read the material over
several times, you outlined it, and you tested yourself on it. It really worked!”

“I like the way you tried all kinds of strategies on that math problem until you finally got it. You thought of a lot of different ways to do it and found the one that worked!”

“I like that you took on that challenging project for your science class. It will take a lot of work—doing
the research, designing the apparatus, buying the parts, and building it. Boy, you’re going to learn a lot
of great things.”

“I know school used to be easy for you and you used to feel like the smart kid all the time. But the truth is
that you weren’t using your brain to the fullest. I’m really excited about how you’re stretching yourself
now and working to learn hard things.”

“That homework was so long and involved. I really admire the way you concentrated and finished it.”

“That picture has so many beautiful colors. Tell me about them.”

“You put so much thought into this essay. It really makes me understand Shakespeare in a new way.”

“The passion you put into that piano piece gives me a real feeling of joy. How do you feel when you play it?”

WHEN A CHILD FAILED OR STRUGGLING
“I liked the effort you put in, but let’s work together some more and figure out what it is you don’t
understand.”

“We all have different learning curves. It may take more time for you to catch on to this and be
comfortable with this material, but if you keep at it like this you will.”

“Everyone learns in a different way. Let’s keep trying to find the way that works for you.”

NOTE TO PARENTS:
Parents think they can hand children permanent confidence—like a gift—by praising their brains and
talent. It doesn’t work, and in fact has the opposite effect. It makes children doubt themselves as soon as
anything is hard or anything goes wrong. If parents want to give their children a gift, the best thing they
can do is to teach their children to love challenges, be intrigued by mistakes, enjoy effort, and
keep on learning. That way, their children don’t have to be slaves of praise

Every word and action from parent to child sends a message. Tomorrow, listen to what you
say to your kids and tune in to the messages you’re sending. Are they messages that say:
You have permanent traits and I’m judging them? Or are they messages that say You’re a
developing person and I’m interested in your development?

How do you use praise? Remember that praising children’s intelligence or talent,
tempting as it is, sends a fixed-mindset message. It makes their confidence and
motivation more fragile. Instead, try to focus on the processes they used—their strategies,
effort, or choices. Practice working the process  praise into your interactions with your
children.

Watch and listen to yourself carefully when your child messes up. Remember that
constructive criticism is feedback that helps the child understand how to fix something. It’s
not feedback that labels or simply excuses the child. At the end of each day, write down the
constructive criticism (and the process praise) you’ve given your kids.

Parents often set goals their children can work toward. Remember that having innate talent is
not a goal. Expanding skills and knowledge is. Pay careful attention to the goals you set for your children.

If you’re a teacher, remember that lowering standards doesn’t raise students’ self-esteem.
But neither does raising standards without giving students ways of reaching them. The
growth mindset gives you a way to set high standards and have students reach them. Try
presenting topics in a growth framework and giving students process feedback. I think you’ll
like what happens.

Do you think of your slower students as kids who will never be able to learn well? Do they
think of themselves as permanently dumb? Instead, try to figure out what they don’t
understand and what learning strategies they don’t have. Remember that great teachers
believe in the growth of talent and intellect,

NASA’s Strategies of Selecting Candidates
-they rejected people with pure histories of success  and instead selected people who had had significant failures and bounced back from them

Yesterday, my wife told me that my 17 years old son scored >1900 on his first SAT test and his preparation are the following:
1. Watching MariaS, Novak and Rafael at Tennis Channel
2. Watching Minecraft in YouTube
3. Playing video Games ie. Minecraft and something else
4. The Book-Cracking The SAT 2013
5. Playing Tennis

I don’t exactly know how my son’s study habits are but based on my perception, he did not crank up to the maximum effort he can ever unleash on the SAT preparation.  I am motivated to write a summary of this book because I know that he is a perfect candidate of a would-be fixed mindset person. 

To Brent,
Please find time to process the contents of this book.  I told you to read it but you refuse.  Here’s the summary instead.

Dad