Book Summary: Mindset

Book-Mindset: The New Psychology of Success
Author-Carol Dweck
ISBN-9780345472328
Pages: 449 [pdf]
Chapters: 8

Chapter 1-The Mindsets
Chapter 2-Inside the Mindsets
Chapter 3-The Truth about ability and accomplishments
Chapter 4-Sports:The Mindset of a Champion
Chapter 5-Business Mindset and Leadership
Chapter 6-Relationships: Mindsets in Love (or Not)
Chapter 7-Parents, Teachers and Coaches
Chapter 8-Changing Mindsets

NOTES/REFERENCES:
What is Mindset?
Mindset Diagram
Understanding Mindset
More Dweck’s Articles

#	NOTES
1	Fixed Mindset leads to a desire to look smart
2	Fixed Mindset avoid Challenges
3	Fixed Mindset give up easily
4	Fixed Mindset see effort as fruitless or worse
5	Fixed Mindset ignore useful negative feedback
6	Fixed Mindset feel threatened by the success of others
7	Fixed Mindset RESULT: plateau early and achieve less than their full potential
8	Fixed mindset believing that your qualities are carved in stone
9	Fixed mindset believing your personal traits are fixed
10	Fixed mindset creates an urgency to prove yourself over and over
11	Fixed mindset focus on permanent traits
12	Fixed mindset fear challenges
13	Fixed mindset devalue effort
14	Fixed mindset produces non-learners, they already know it [no need to learn]
15	Fixed mindset only interested when the feedback reflected on their ability
16	Fixed mindset put people on a pedestal
17	Fixed mindset make people feel perfect
18	Fixed mindset worship people
19	Fixed mindset fixed qualities
20	Fixed mindset it’s not enough just to succeed.
21	Fixed mindset it’s not enough just to look smart and talented.
22	Fixed mindset you have to be pretty much flawless
23	Fixed mindset you have to be flawless right away
24	Fixed mindset measure the fixed ability right now and project it into the future
25	Fixed mindset must succeed perfectly and immediately
26	Fixed mindset always proving that they are special and superior
27	Fixed mindset believe that talent is ALL
28	Fixed mindset the loss of one’s self to failure can be a permanent, haunting trauma.
29	Fixed mindset my Success Is Your Failure
30	Fixed mindset try to repair their self-esteem after a failure is by assigning blame or making excuses
31	Fixed mindset higher levels of depression
32	Fixed mindset effort is only for people with deficiencies.
33	Fixed mindset when failure: “I could have been [fill in the blank].”
34	Fixed mindset proving superiority over and over [on anything]
35	Fixed mindset easily discouraged
36	Fixed mindset will quit in a heartbeat
37	Fixed mindset will skip learning when feeling that there is room for failure
38	Fixed mindset everything is about outcome
39	Fixed mindset low effort and always looking for easy task
40	Fixed mindset prefer effortless success
41	Fixed mindset always putting their talent in display
42	Fixed mindset intolerant of mistakes
43	Fixed mindset less confident person
44	Fixed mindset early performance tells you all you need to know about their talent and their future.
45	Fixed mindset imperfections are shameful
46	Fixed mindset criticism: view as a threat, an insult or an attack
47	Fixed mindset setbacks: a total failure
48	Fixed mindset does not cope well with adversities
49	Fixed mindset does not need a team
50	Fixed mindset delivers blame and excuses during failure
51	Fixed mindset full of bitterness
52	Fixed mindset always thinking of being brilliant
53	Fixed mindset felt judged and labeled by the rejection
54	Fixed mindset rejection is like the end of the world
55	Fixed mindset when rejection happens: REVENGE is the #1 priority
56	Fixed mindset believe that your qualities are fixed
57	Fixed mindset believe your partner’s qualities are fixed
58	Fixed mindset believe that relationship’s qualities are fixed—inherently good or bad, meant-to-be or not
59	Fixed mindset meant-to-be.
60	Fixed mindset the ideal is instant, perfect, and perpetual compatibility. Like it was meant to be
61	Fixed mindset a mind reader-always reading partner/spouse mind and making assumptions
62	Fixed mindset believe that a couple should share all of each other’s views
63	Fixed mindset assume entitlement-hey I deserve this…
64	Fixed mindset assign blame to a failing relationship ie. character flaw
65	Fixed mindset blame self or partner when relationship go sour
66	Fixed mindset always defending self
67	Fixed mindset shy type
68	Fixed mindset lack social skills
69	Fixed mindset avoid meeting new friends
70	Fixed mindset does not like to let their guard down
71	Fixed mindset cannot let go of fear of failure or rejection
72	Fixed mindset I have a certain amount of intelligence, and I can’t really do much to change it.”I feel like a reject”
73	Fixed mindset “I’d feel like a reject”
74	Fixed mindset “I’m a total failure”
75	Fixed mindset “I’m an idiot”
76	Fixed mindset “I’m a loser”
77	Fixed mindset “I’d feel worthless and dumb—everyone’s better than me”
78	Fixed mindset “My life is pitiful.”
79	Fixed mindset “I have no life.”
80	Fixed mindset “Somebody upstairs doesn’t like me.”
81	Fixed mindset “The world is out to get me.”
82	Fixed mindset “Someone is out to destroy me.”
83	Fixed mindset “Nobody loves me, everybody hates me.”
84	Fixed mindset “Life is unfair and all efforts are useless.”
85	Fixed mindset “Life stinks. I’m stupid. Nothing good ever happens to me.”
86	Fixed mindset “I’m the most unlucky person on this earth.”
87	Fixed mindset “Do nothing.”
88	Fixed mindset “Stay in bed.”
89	Fixed mindset “Get drunk.”
90	Fixed mindset “Eat.”
91	Fixed mindset “Yell at someone if I get a chance to.”
92	Fixed mindset “Eat chocolate.”
93	Fixed mindset “Listen to music and pout.”
94	Fixed mindset “Go into my closet and sit there.”
95	Fixed mindset “Pick a fight with somebody.”
96	Fixed mindset “Cry.”
97	Fixed mindset “Break something.”
98	Fixed mindset “What is there to do?”
99	Fixed mindset “If you have to work at something, you must not be good at it.”
100	Fixed mindset “Things come easily to people who are true geniuses.”
101	Fixed mindset “People have a certain fixed amount of management ability
102	Fixed mindset and they cannot do much to change it.”
103	Fixed mindset  I’m unlovable
104	Fixed mindset “If I had to choose between me being happy and him being miserable, I would definitely want him to be
105	Fixed mindset miserable.”
106	Fixed mindset “As a husband/wife, I have a right to—’ and my husband/wife has the duty to—.”
107	Fixed mindset ‘I’m not going to wash the dishes, no way. That’s a woman’s job.’
108	Fixed mindset the man/woman I loved was a bad person
109	Fixed mindset he/she was a bad person and drove him/her awayrelationship was bad and irreparable”
110	Fixed mindset my partner is incapable of change
111	Fixed mindset Nothing can improve our relationship
112	Fixed mindset “I am a football player, and therefore I’m better than you.”
113	Fixed mindset “I am a basketball player … pathetic geeks like you are not on my level.”
114	Fixed mindset You have permanent traits and I’m judging them
115	Growth mindset believe that anyone can be anything
116	Growth mindset believe that a person’s true potential is unknown (and unknowable);
117	Growth mindset based on the belief that your basic qualities are things you can cultivate through your efforts
118	Growth mindset believe that you can learn anything and new things as they come
119	Growth mindset believe they are learners
120	Growth mindset paid close attention to information that could stretch their knowledge. Only for them was learning a priority
121	Growth mindset see people’s faults and help them to work on them.
122	Growth mindset challenge people to become a better person.
123	Growth mindset encourage them to learn new things.
124	Growth mindset effort is the key to success
125	Growth mindset success is about being your best self, not about being better than others
126	Growth mindset learn from failure
127	Growth mindset will not quit easily
128	Growth mindset will take the challenge
129	Growth mindset will comeback another day and fight
130	Growth mindset not easily discourage
131	Growth mindset continue their effort even if progress is not visible
132	Growth mindset eagerness to learn and advance despite repeated failure
133	Growth mindset passionate of what they do
134	Growth mindset outcome of effort is not the ultimate goal, the journey is more important
135	Growth mindset value what they’re doing regardless of the outcome.
136	Growth mindset hard effort and always looking for a difficult task
137	Growth mindset humble about their talent
138	Growth mindset love mistakes, it is vehicle for learning
139	Growth mindset a confident person, nothing to prove
140	Growth mindset early performance is not an indicator of great success
141	Growth mindset imperfections is a source of motivation
142	Growth mindset criticism: comments are helpful, a positive feedback
143	Growth mindset setbacks: motivating and stimulating and encouraging
144	Growth mindset during failure: i will double my effort
145	Growth mindset loves adversities, it is a room for growth
146	Growth mindset loves team environment
147	Growth mindset delivers encouragement to the team when there is failure
148	Growth mindset full of gratitude
149	Growth mindset always thinking of growth and passion
150	Growth mindset rejection does not define the future but a stepping stone for change
151	Growth mindset accepts rejection wholeheartedly
152	Growth mindset when rejection happens: accepts the facts and move on [not dwelling too long]
153	Growth mindset things can be developed
154	Growth mindset all—you, your partner, and the relationship—are capable of growth and change
155	Growth mindset confront a bad situation and look for resolution
156	Growth mindset so forgiving and give partner a room to grow/change
157	Growth mindset being patient while in a bad/difficult relationsh
158	Growth mindset “I’d start thinking about studying harder”
159	Growth mindset “I’d look at what was wrong on my exam, resolve to do better”
160	Growth mindset “People can always substantially change their basic skills for managing other people.”
161	Growth mindset You are a developing person and I am interested in your development
162	Growth mindset “I did not win the tournament and will try a different strategy next time”
163	Growth mindset ”I’m diagnosed with a life ending illness, I will spend the rest of my remaining days the best I can”
164	Growth mindset ”I will cry but I will find ways to change things”
165	Growth mindset ”I will not succumb to self destructive actions when I fail”
166	Growth mindset ”I will force myself to get up every morning and start a motivating day even if I do not feel doing it”
167	Growth mindset ”I will not use eating/overeating as a way of escape of my situation”
168	Growth mindset ”I will not go to my closet and sit there all day and ponder about my failures”
169	Growth mindset ”I will look for another job instead of finding blame why I was let go”
170	Growth mindset ”I will not break things to show that I am really upset”
171	Growth mindset ”I will refuse to pick a fight with anybody”
172	Growth mindset ”I will not be paralyzed by my misfortune, I will do something positive to regain my status”
173	Growth mindset ”My depression is holding me back in life, but I will find ways to help myself”
174	Growth mindset ”My partner’s love is gone, I will give him/her time to ponder about the relationship”
175	Growth mindset ”I will not give up in a relationship easily”
176	Growth mindset ”I received a traffic violation, I will make sure I learned my mistakes and not repeat it”
177	Growth mindset ”My friend did  not treat me well, I will understand and find reasons why and I will not judge him/her”
178	Growth mindset ”I will not label someone if I am mistreated”
179	Growth mindset ”I will not use mind-reading in a relationship, I will ask about his/her actions”
180	Growth mindset ”I will confront any challenges that comes to life and not run away from it”
181	Growth mindset ”I will always focus on my development everyday to make myself better in life”
182	Growth mindset ”I don’t have a skill to write but I will try writing anyway”
183	Growth mindset ”I can’t run long distance but I will start training no matter what”
184	Growth mindset ”Co workers and friends are a resource for learning and not competition”
185	Growth mindset ”I will stretch my thinking and patience if I am in a bad situation”
186	Growth mindset ”I am not a very smart person but I will study harder and read more”
187	Growth mindset ”I will double up my effort”
188	Growth mindset ”I will show my failures to others so that they too can learn”
189	Growth mindset ”I will encourage my partner to become a better person”
190	Growth mindset ”I will take remedial courses to keep up”
191	Growth mindset ”I will do it even if it is impossible”
192	Growth mindset ”I will keep going in my endeavor even if I can see the finish line”
193	Growth mindset ”I will force myself to read books even if I don’t like to read”
194	Growth mindset ”I will listen to others when they me things or lessons”
195	Growth mindset ”I will not aim for perfection but I will aim to closer-perfection”
196	Growth mindset ”I will do something that I could not do before”
197	Growth mindset ”I have OCD but I will find ways why this gift is given to me”
198	Growth mindset ”I am diagnosed bipolar but I will find ways to harness the power of this disorder”
199	Growth mindset ”I am special/different but I will find ways to cultivate my gifts”
200	Growth mindset ”My illness will not put me or my mind in a box, I will find ways to make it serve me or others”
201	Growth mindset ”I am unhappy but I will try to overcome my unhappiness in whatever way possible”
202	Growth mindset ”I will take some big risk”
203	Growth mindset ”I am not afraid of failure”
204	Growth mindset ”My boss told me that I am not good enough, I will find ways to show him/her  that he/she is wrong”
205	Growth mindset ”I don’t know the direction of my life, I will ask people, or read or research and study my skills and strengths”
206	Growth mindset ”I will not live to convince or prove to people that  I am good or the best, I am satisfied with what I have”
207	Growth mindset ”I will not compete with others”
208	Growth mindset ”I will not compare my life with others”
209	Growth mindset ”I will not criticize others, I will give rooms to their imperfections”
210	Growth mindset ”I will not complain on any difficult situation, I will accept any misfortune and hardship and then find ways to get out from it”
211	Growth mindset ”I will think of life as a journey”
212	Growth mindset ”I am not the best, but I will find ways to be the best in some ways”
213	Growth mindset ”I will pick a thing that I love to do and stay at it no matter what”
214	Growth mindset ”I will continue in my pursuit on something even if I’m surrounded by naysayers”
215	Growth mindset ”The door is closed for me, I will looks for another open door”
216	Growth mindset ”Someone took my water well, I will dig another water well somewhere”

PARENTING MINDSET
Parent: “You learned that so quickly! You’re so smart!”
Child: If I don’t learn something quickly, I’m not smart.

Parent: “Look at that drawing. Martha, is he the next Picasso or what?”
Child: I shouldn’t try drawing anything hard or they’ll see I’m no Picasso.

Parent: “You’re so brilliant, you got an A without even studying!”
Child: I’d better quit studying or they won’t think I’m
brilliant.

ALTERNATIVE TO PRAISING WHEN A CHILD IS DOING GREAT
“You really studied for your test and your improvement shows it. You read the material over
several times, you outlined it, and you tested yourself on it. It really worked!”

“I like the way you tried all kinds of strategies on that math problem until you finally got it. You thought of a lot of different ways to do it and found the one that worked!”

“I like that you took on that challenging project for your science class. It will take a lot of work—doing
the research, designing the apparatus, buying the parts, and building it. Boy, you’re going to learn a lot
of great things.”

“I know school used to be easy for you and you used to feel like the smart kid all the time. But the truth is
that you weren’t using your brain to the fullest. I’m really excited about how you’re stretching yourself
now and working to learn hard things.”

“That homework was so long and involved. I really admire the way you concentrated and finished it.”

“That picture has so many beautiful colors. Tell me about them.”

“You put so much thought into this essay. It really makes me understand Shakespeare in a new way.”

“The passion you put into that piano piece gives me a real feeling of joy. How do you feel when you play it?”

WHEN A CHILD FAILED OR STRUGGLING
“I liked the effort you put in, but let’s work together some more and figure out what it is you don’t
understand.”

“We all have different learning curves. It may take more time for you to catch on to this and be
comfortable with this material, but if you keep at it like this you will.”

“Everyone learns in a different way. Let’s keep trying to find the way that works for you.”

NOTE TO PARENTS:
Parents think they can hand children permanent confidence—like a gift—by praising their brains and
talent. It doesn’t work, and in fact has the opposite effect. It makes children doubt themselves as soon as
anything is hard or anything goes wrong. If parents want to give their children a gift, the best thing they
can do is to teach their children to love challenges, be intrigued by mistakes, enjoy effort, and
keep on learning. That way, their children don’t have to be slaves of praise

Every word and action from parent to child sends a message. Tomorrow, listen to what you
say to your kids and tune in to the messages you’re sending. Are they messages that say:
You have permanent traits and I’m judging them? Or are they messages that say You’re a
developing person and I’m interested in your development?

How do you use praise? Remember that praising children’s intelligence or talent,
tempting as it is, sends a fixed-mindset message. It makes their confidence and
motivation more fragile. Instead, try to focus on the processes they used—their strategies,
effort, or choices. Practice working the process  praise into your interactions with your
children.

Watch and listen to yourself carefully when your child messes up. Remember that
constructive criticism is feedback that helps the child understand how to fix something. It’s
not feedback that labels or simply excuses the child. At the end of each day, write down the
constructive criticism (and the process praise) you’ve given your kids.

Parents often set goals their children can work toward. Remember that having innate talent is
not a goal. Expanding skills and knowledge is. Pay careful attention to the goals you set for your children.

If you’re a teacher, remember that lowering standards doesn’t raise students’ self-esteem.
But neither does raising standards without giving students ways of reaching them. The
growth mindset gives you a way to set high standards and have students reach them. Try
presenting topics in a growth framework and giving students process feedback. I think you’ll
like what happens.

Do you think of your slower students as kids who will never be able to learn well? Do they
think of themselves as permanently dumb? Instead, try to figure out what they don’t
understand and what learning strategies they don’t have. Remember that great teachers
believe in the growth of talent and intellect,

NASA’s Strategies of Selecting Candidates
-they rejected people with pure histories of success  and instead selected people who had had significant failures and bounced back from them

Yesterday, my wife told me that my 17 years old son scored >1900 on his first SAT test and his preparation are the following:
1. Watching MariaS, Novak and Rafael at Tennis Channel
2. Watching Minecraft in YouTube
3. Playing video Games ie. Minecraft and something else
4. The Book-Cracking The SAT 2013
5. Playing Tennis

I don’t exactly know how my son’s study habits are but based on my perception, he did not crank up to the maximum effort he can ever unleash on the SAT preparation.  I am motivated to write a summary of this book because I know that he is a perfect candidate of a would-be fixed mindset person. 

To Brent,
Please find time to process the contents of this book.  I told you to read it but you refuse.  Here’s the summary instead.

Dad